Damsels, Inc
by NightIntent
Summary: You know the story. A damsel in distress rescued by... another damsel? Wait, what went wrong there? A collection of fairy tales based on Damsels, Inc., which meddles and interferes as a way of life.
1. The Worn Out Dancing Shoes

NightIntent: Okay, this is the story of the Worn Out Dancing Shoes. But different. You'll see why. Anyways, please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own the fairy tale. However, I made up Damsels, Inc. on my own.

* * *

At Damsels, Inc., a report arrived. It told about a kingdom that had twelve princesses who, every night, wore out their dancing shoes. All sorts of nobles had tried to keep the princesses from going wherever it was they went when they wore out their shoes, but, so far, none had succeeded. Beryl, the head of Damsels, Inc., thought about what to do about it for a while. Then she said, "Get me Keira. She's the one best suited for this job."

One of Beryl's underlings went running. She returned a few minutes later with a woman walking behind her. The woman seemed to be about thirty five, and looked very tough. She had once been a doctor in the army, and had had to deal with many things. Finally, she had quit. When the woman had heard about Damsels, Inc., she had known that that was where she would spend the rest of her life. The woman was Keira, whom Beryl had sent for.

Beryl informed Keira, "You're going to rescue twelve princesses. They go somewhere every night, and the nobles who've tried to help them have all failed. So, we're sending you. Here, take this, and remember this: Don't drink anything that the princesses may give you." Beryl handed Keira a cloak. It wasn't precisely black. But it was close. "That cloak will make you invisible. As long as no one thinks you're there, you'll be fine. But it's more illusion than actual magic."

Keira nodded and set out.

* * *

After a couple days' walk, Keira arrived at the palace. She was dressed as a man, so that the king would actually allow her to get a chance at helping the princesses. When Keira reached the gate, she hailed the guard captain. He called from inside the gatehouse, "What brings you to the castle gates, stranger?"

"I come to try my hand at helping the twelve dancing princesses," Keira answered.

"You are aware that the punishment for failing is death?" the guard asked. When Keira nodded, the guard said, "Very well. You may enter." The gate opened and Keira walked in.

The king granted Keira an audience as soon as she reached the throne room. When she laid eyes on him, she thought, _This man has suffered from his daughters' troubles. More than they have, I dare say._ His eyes held some nameless sorrow that seemed to run deeper than one could imagine. Keira bowed.

The king seemed to look past her, instead of directly at her. "So you come to help my daughters…?" He left the question hanging.

"Keiran, your majesty. Keiran Farmer," Keira answered the unasked question.

The king nodded. "Yes. Keiran," he said distractedly. "You will bathe, then we will eat a great feast in your honor. You have three days to bring me word of where my daughters go at night, where they dance so much that their delicate shoes are ruined. And with this word, I wish for proof. I will see you at the feast."

Keira nodded and allowed herself to be led out of the thrown room into a large bathing room. The runner boy let her to bathe. She did so, then dressed in the clothes that had been laid out for her before she'd arrived. They were men's clothes, seeing as the whole castle thought she was a man. But she didn't mind. When she was dressed, Keira went to dinner.

When both her and the king were settled at the table, the twelve princesses filed in. Each one was more beautiful than the last, either way one looked. They sat down at their places. No one said anything. Throughout the entire meal, everyone was oddly silent. Keira, being a rather friendly, talkative person herself, was bothered by the silence. She ate quickly, so as to get the meal over with quickly.

When dinner was over, Keira and the princesses were led to the great hall, where the princesses slept each night, locked in with a key that only the king possessed. They all listened as the lock turned and clicked shut. Then Keira went into the section of the hall that was partitioned off for her to sleep in. About an hour later, the eldest princess came in with a cup of wine. She offered it to Keira silently.

"Thank you," Keira said, accepting the cup. She drank it down, not remembering Beryl's advice. Soon after, she had fallen asleep. She didn't stir until morning, but by then it was too late to follow the princesses.

Keira went to breakfast in a bad mood. She hadn't thought to be outsmarted by a group of naïve girls. But she had been, because she'd forgotten to follow advice. After the silent breakfast, in which the king stared at her despairingly, Keira wrote a report to Damsels, Inc. No matter how embarrassing it had been, she was obligated to write her report.

The day passed uneventfully. After yet another silent dinner, Keira sat in her section of the hall. When the eldest princess came to her, Keira took the wine and, pretending to drink it, let it slide over her shoulder into the sponge that she had put there specifically for that purpose. The princess didn't realize that she had been tricked. She walked away, the same as she had the night before.

Minutes later, Keira pretended to be asleep, snoring loudly. The princesses went into a sudden flurry of activity. They got into fine dresses, and pulled on their new dancing shoes. When all the princesses were ready, the eldest lifted a section of the floor, which turned out to be a trapdoor. They all filed in, the eldest holding the door open. Keira pulled on the cloak quickly and tip-toed over to the trapdoor. Right after the youngest disappeared into the dark hole in the floor, Keira slipped into it. As the eldest princess closed the trapdoor, Keira stepped on the youngest princess's dress.

The young princess whirled around. She exclaimed, "Someone stepped on my hem!"

The eldest princess said, "No one is behind you except me, and I didn't step on your dress. You must be excited, and stepped on it yourself." The youngest princess looked doubtful, but didn't say anything more.

The princesses continued. After a few minutes, they reached an orchard of what looked like fruit trees. When Keira looked closer, she saw that what she'd thought was fruit was actually jewels. And the trees weren't beech trees, they were silver. She broke off a small branch. In the silence, the branch snapped like a gunshot.

The youngest princess, who had been trailing behind the others, twisted around, her eyes wide. She cried out, "Oh, there is someone here! I heard a noise!"

The eldest princess said, "It was just your nerves. Why are you so jumpy tonight?" All twelve princesses continued on. Soon, they reached a lake.

The lake didn't look like a lake normally did. Even the sound it made was different. It sounded like it stuck to the shore before sliding back inwards. And the color wasn't a crisp, clear blue. It looked more like black. On the lake was a dock. There were twelve boats docked, an oarsmen on each. Each princess went to a boat. Keira slipped onto the last boat, the one that the youngest princess got on.

As they started off, the oarsman said, "Did you gain weight? The boat seems heavier today. It's taking all my strength to keep up with the others, and even now we fall behind."

The princess glared at him indignantly. "I did not gain weight!" she exclaimed. "Maybe you just got weaker!"

The oarsman just shook his head. The three reached an island in the middle of the lake. There was a huge castle in the lake, and there was music flowing from it. The other eleven princesses were already dancing. The youngest was handed out of the boat by the oarsman. Keira got out herself. She followed the music, and watched all the princesses dance. Hours later, when their shoes were again worn to tatters, the princesses finished.

They boarded the boats again. Keira got on the same boat as the youngest princess again. When they docked at the other side, Keira ran ahead. By the time the princesses got back to the hall, Keira was back in her bed, pretending to snore loudly.

The princesses laughed. The eldest said, "We probably didn't even need the drugged wine! This one would sleep without it!" Keira smiled as she snored, pleased with the trick she'd done. Soon, she had drifted off into actual sleep.

The next morning, Keira didn't show the king her findings. She wanted more proof. So she waited. She was getting fed up with the annoying, silent meals. Keira wasn't used to being so quiet. After writing her report, she asked permission to go on a walk around the palace grounds, which was granted. On the walk, she met up with a soldier, the one who had been at the gate on the first day that Keira had come to the palace.

Keira and the guard talked for hours. They missed lunch, but Keira didn't care. Finally, a servant was sent to fetch her for yet another silent meal. She ate heartily, tolerant of the silence now that she had been able to talk with someone. After, she was locked in the hall with the princesses again.

Keira did the same thing as the night before, pretending to drink the wine. This time, though, she didn't alarm the youngest princess at all. The oarsman didn't comment on the weight of the boat that night, either. Keira watched the dancing.

Near the end of the night, the eldest princess left her wine cup in a place where Keira could grab it. So Keira took the opportunity. She snatched the cup and slipped it inside her cloak. When they got to the lake, on the way back to the boats, Keira filled the cup up to the brim with the slimy water, careful not to touch it. Then she got on the boat with the youngest princess again.

For the second time, Keira ran back to her bed. She put the invisibility cloak on top of the cup and branch. She didn't even need to hear the trapdoor open. She was fast asleep.

The next morning, Keira brought her evidence to the king. She carefully explained about where he princesses went every night, and what happened. She showed the court the jeweled branch and the cup with the tainted water. The sorrow in the king's eyes lifted. He smiled for the first time in months.

"You have succeeded. Now, you may collect on the promised reward. Keiran Farmer, you may choose one of my daughters as your bride, and whichever daughter you choose will become my heir, and you will become king of this kingdom when I die," the king declared.

Keira said, "I'm sorry, but I cannot accept that. You see, I only came because I was assigned by my company, Damsels, Inc., to rescue the princesses from their trouble."

"Then you can take some gold as payment for your services."

"No, I'm afraid that's impossible," Keira apologized. "You see, my company is non-profit. We don't take pay, just as we don't announce who we help. Knowing that I helped is payment enough for me. Thank you for the offer, though, your majesty. It was very kind." Keira bowed.

"Is there any way I can do something for your company?" the king inquired.

"Well, we take donations, but they're not necessary. And I can't take it. Send it to this address." Keira took a card out of one of her pockets and tossed it to the king. It went directly to him. He glanced at it. By the time he looked up, Keira was already gone.

* * *

NightIntent: Did you like it? To clarify: Damsels, Inc. is a non-profit organization that rescues people. But they only use female agents to do the rescuing. The agents cannot take any money or reward for what they do. As a result, the only people who apply and actually stay are non-selfish people. Or those who are really stubborn. Or both. My next story is going to be The Frog Prince. The more reviews I get, the faster I'll update. So please review!


	2. The Frog Prince

NightIntent: This fairy tale was really fun to write. Much better than the other one, in my opinion. I hope you like it, too.

Disclaimer: I don't own the fairy tale. However, Damsels, Inc. _is_ mine.

* * *

Just hours after Keira got back from her mission, another urgent message arrived at Damsels, Inc. Beryl read it. "So," she said, "a talking frog. An enchanted prince, perhaps." She thought for a moment, then pressed the button on her desk. A bell rang in the other room.

A head peeked in through the door. "Yes, boss?" the person asked.

"Get me Guinivere. As the only princess volunteer, she'll be going to rescue a frog," Beryl said.

The underling's face was clearly puzzled, but she left to get Princess Guinivere. Beryl grinned. Less than two minutes later, Guinivere burst into the room. "You have an assignment for me?" she asked happily. It was her first assignment, and she was excited. Her pale cheeks were flushed red from running, and her pale blonde hair had been whipped around. Guinivere's blue eyes shone.

"Yes, I do," Beryl said. "There's an enchanted frog in this kingdom." She pointed to a country on the map. "We're sending you there to help him. I sent a runner to arrange for a horse for you. It'll be ready to go by the time I've finished with you. So, here's what you do…."

Minutes later, Guinivere sprinted out the door, ready for her first adventure. Beryl smiled reminiscently. "Ah, the energy of youth."

* * *

About a week after Guinivere had left Damsels, Inc., she arrived at the other kingdom's palace, where it was rumored that the enchanted frog was. She rode straight up to the castle gates and announced herself. "Hello! I'm Princess Guinivere, from Legenda! I came here on behalf of Damsels, Inc. Will you let me through, please?"

The guard at the gate sat stunned for a minute before opening the gate. Guinivere rode through. She hardly paused to thank him, calling it over her shoulder as she sped past. Minutes later, Guinivere arrived at the palace. She dismounted and handed her horse to a stable hand, who was waiting by the entrance. After making sure he would take good care of her horse, Guinivere walked straight to the throne room.

"Hi!" she called as soon as she entered the door. "I'm from Damsels, Inc. I heard there was an enchanted frog around here?"

"Wh-what is this?" one of the nobles asked, startled by the sudden intrusion.

Guinivere smiled cheekily at him. " 'What is this'? 'This' is a princess who came to get rid of your little amphibian problem," Guinivere said, gesturing to herself. She looked at the king. "Now, would you be so kind as to tell me where this frog is?"

The king gestured and a servant came up to the dais. "He will lead you to the pond where the frog is. Do you need anything?" the king inquired nervously. None of the people in that room were used to being talked to as this seemingly ditzy girl had.

Guinivere grinned and shook her head. "No, thank you. I have everything I need right here." She pulled her pack, which had been hidden behind her long, thick hair. "Now, please take me to where this poor little froggy is."

The servant, his face like a mask, led her silently out of the room into the gardens. As soon as she spotted the pond that was in the direction she was going, Guinivere stopped him. "That's it, isn't it? Where the frog is?" she asked. When the servant nodded, she said, "Please leave. And make sure no one comes over here, please. I like to work in private, with no one watching." That last was a bluff. She didn't know either way.

The servant nodded and walked away. Guinivere sighed. "Now that that's over with…. Let's get to work!" She walked the rest of the way to the pond. When she got there, she pulled the nearby bench even closer to the pond. She sat down and pulled out a golden ball. She tossed it back and forth between her hands, throwing it higher and higher. It "accidentally" dropped into the pond.

"Oh, no!" the princess cried despairingly. "What am I supposed to do now? I can't ruin my nice clothes by taking a swim in the pond! And I do so want my ball back!" Guinivere buried her face in her hands, actually crying.

A small splash in the lake caused her crying to hitch for a second, but she didn't stop. However, Guinivere did stop when she felt something wet against her leg. She gasped and looked up. Or down. Sitting by her foot was a small green frog. She squealed. "Eeeewww! Slimy!" she yelled, pulling her legs onto the bench.

The frog glared at the still-sobbing princess. "I assure you, I don't plan on getting you slimy as well," he said in a dignified manner. "Just one of us being slimy is enough."

Guinivere went into hysterics. "The frog talked! The frog can't talk! I'm going insane!" she shrieked, sobbing even harder.

"You're not going insane," the frog said patiently. "I'm a prince, put under a spell by a witch. Now, would you like me to get your gold ball for you?"

Guinivere stared at it, sniffing. "Would you really?" she asked, incredulous. "That would be perfect! I wouldn't have to ruin my dress!"

"Yes, I will. But you have to do one thing for me."

"Of course, anything. Just get me my ball back, please," Guinivere begged.

"Very well. I'll be back in a minute," the frog said. With that, he dived into the pond. Guinivere allowed herself a quick triumphant grin before going back to sniffing and sobbing. When the frog surfaced again, trailing her little gold ball, she looked almost exactly as she had before he'd gone under.

"Here's you ball," the frog said. "I don't get why princesses must have everything gold. Do you have any idea how hard it was to pull that thing up from the bottom of the lake?"

Guinivere squealed in delight. "Ooooh, you got my ball back!" she exclaimed. "Thank you so much!" She started to leave.

"Wait!" the frog called. She stopped and he hopped over to her. "You promised you'd do something for me."

"Yes, I did, didn't I? Very well, what is it you wanted?" Guinivere asked.

"I need you to kiss me," the frog said.

"What!" Guinivere cried. "Are you insane?" When the frog just glared, she said, "Well, I did promise anything, didn't I? Oh, all right." She picked the frog up and kissed him.

Instantly, the two of them were surrounded by a thick smoke. When it cleared, there was a young man lying in front of Guinivere. A naked young man. She was lying on top of him. "Would you… get off my hand, please?" she asked.

"Oh, right, of course," the young man said. Guinivere pulled out a small pile of clothes from her pack. She handed them to the young man and turned around.

"Put those on. If they're too big, tough luck," she said, still facing away from him.

"You can look now," the young man said. "Thank you for saving me. Now, we should go back to my kingdom to be married."

"You're kidding, right? We just met," Guinivere said. "On top of that, I didn't do this for you. It was my assignment. Now, I have to be getting back to Damsels, Inc. See you when I see you!" She turned away again, and sprinted toward the stable. She ordered one of the stable hands to saddle her horse up again.

By the time her horse was ready to go, the prince had recovered from his shock and gotten to the stable. "But… who are you? Aren't you a princess?" he asked.

"Of course I am," Guinivere said. "I just happen to work for Damsels, Inc., helping people. Actually, you were my first case. But, since it went so well, maybe I'll get more assignments! Well, thank you for being so cooperative. But I really must go tell Beryl what happened. 'Bye!"

Guinivere rode straight out of the palace gates, not even stopping. She wanted to get back home. Where she would not have the complications of having an idiot prince chasing her around.

* * *

NightIntent: So. That was my version of the Frog Prince. Just to make sure there are no mistakes about this, the whole crying and freaking out act by Guinivere was all an act. How'd you like the story? I'd like suggestions for what to do next. If I don't get any, I'm just doing Cinderella. There'll be two new characters in that one. Please tell me what you thought about this so far, though. Again, the more people review the faster I'll update.


	3. Cinderella

NightIntent: This one, you get two new characters. Sure, you don't really get to know them too well, but they'll be coming in later stories. Oh, right. Before you read this, a quick warning: It's like a mix of the Disney version and the Brothers Grimm version, which is where I get the basis for all the fairy tales right now. So, be forewarned if it gets a bit confusing.

Disclaimer: Damsels, Inc. and its employee sare the only things in this story that are mine.

* * *

Damsels, Inc. had been quiet for a couple of weeks. Everyone was bored mindless. Beryl most of all. Without reports to read, and everything planned already, she had nothing to do whatsoever. So she decided to make a fitness training room for their agents. And, if there was ever another quiet time, Beryl could use it, too. She'd ordered most of the equipment, and had even cleared out a nice, big room for all of it to into. Then a letter came. It was from a concerned neighbor. It stated that she lived next to someone she believed was being practically enslaved. There was going to be a ball held by the king of the country, in which the prince's wife would be chosen. The neighbor had reason to believe that the enslaved girl wasn't going to be allowed to go to it, although every woman in the lands was invited.

Beryl sighed. "Time to go back to work," she muttered. Walking to the door, she stuck her head out into the hall. "Get me Deidra and Sabrina, please," she said to the passing person outside. Then Beryl slipped her head back inside her office.

A short time later, a knock sounded on the door. "Come in!" Beryl called. Two women walked in. The one on the left was small and dark of skin and hair. Her eyes, though, were a startling blue. The one on the right was slim and of average height. She had light skin and dark hair. Her eyes were the color of honey.

"You wanted us, Beryl?" the one on the left asked.

"Yes, I did, Sabrina. You, too, Deidra," Beryl said. "There's a girl who's being forced to do housework, and she wants to go to a ball. Normally, I wouldn't try to help someone like this, but… we all need something to do. And I need to plan something. So, let's see what we can do for this girl." The three women started to plan.

* * *

Deidra and Sabrina split up at the edge of town. Sabrina would if she was needed, in the form of a song bird. But, at that moment, Deidra was the one who needed to be at the house with the girl they were helping. By the time Deidra arrived, the girl was sitting on the bench, sobbing. It was the night of the ball.

"What's wrong, child?" Deidra asked kindly.

"I-I wanted to go to the ball," the girl sobbed. "But my stepmother told me to take the two tubs of beans out of the ashes. And I can't go unless I finish. B-but it's impossible. On top of that, I d-don't have a dress to go in. And I'm all dirty and raggedy." She cried even harder.

"Now, this won't do," Deidra said. She looked speculatively at the girl. "Well, it's not completely hopeless." Deidra waved her hand and the girl was no longer dirty, and the tear tracks on her face were gone. The old, torn dress she'd been wearing had been replaced by a glittery yet simple ball gown. Tiny glass slippers were on her feet. Long gloves hid the rough calluses on her hands. A mask covered the upper half of her face. "I heard it was a mask cotillion, so you won't stand out. Now, go. I'll get the beans out of the ashes for you. Oh, right, before you go, you have to be back before midnight."

The girl nodded and set out, running as fast as she could, the slippers in her hands. A bird flew down to sit next to Deidra. It changed into Sabrina. "Does she really have to be back by midnight?" Sabrina inquired.

"Of course not," Deidra said. "I just don't want her staying out too late." Both women grinned wickedly.

The night passed uneventfully for them. They didn't know what had gone on at the ball, nor did they particularly wish to. The girl they'd helped came running back at the stroke of midnight. As the last bells faded, Deidra flipped her hand and the girl's finery all disappeared. Because the shoes were supposed to disappear as well, Deidra didn't notice that the girl had only been carrying one.

The next morning, the prince called a search. Whoever could fit into the shoe that had been left on the stairs would be his wife. Deidra realized her mistake too late. But it didn't really matter. They'd helped. Since they had, technically, been the cause of the search, both Deidra and Sabrina decided to stay to see the outcome of it.

Near the end of the day, the prince's entourage arrived at the girl's house. The stepmother hustled the girl into the kitchen, and pushed her daughters into the parlor. She then answered the door and led the prince and his steward into the room. "These are my daughters. Please allow them to try on the slipper," she said, smiling ingratiatingly.

"Yes, we'd been planning on doing that anyway," the steward said, obviously at the end of his patience. He handed the shoe to the first princess.

"Cut off your toe," the stepmother hissed. "If you become queen, you won't need to walk, anyway." So the first daughter did.

Hobbling slightly, trying to ignore the pain, she showed the prince. "Look, my prince! It fits perfectly!"

"Sabrina!" Deidra hissed. Turn into a song bird again and fly into that tree. Warn the prince of his mistake." Sabrina did so.

From her perch in the tree, Sabrina sang sweetly, "Look at the blood on the shoe, that is not the wife for you."

The prince looked back and, true enough, there was blood on the glass slipper. The prince glared at the daughter, and led her back to her house. The shoe was cleaned and given to the second daughter. The stepmother hissed into her ear, "Cut off your heel. When you are queen, you won't need to walk again, anyway."

So the second daughter cut off her heel and slipped her foot into the slipper. "Look, look! It fits!" she cried, masking her pain with the yell. The prince led her to the carriage.

Once again, Sabrina sang, "Look at the blood on the shoe, that is not the wife for you." The prince looked back again, and there was more blood on the shoe.

They went back to the house. He prince asked, "Is there another young woman in the house?"

"Well…." The stepmother said reluctantly. "There's Ella, but she didn't go to the ball."

"Bring her out here," the steward said. "We were told to try the shoe on every maiden in the land, whether she went to the ball or not."

So Ella was led out of the kitchen. She put on the shoe. It fit perfectly. She showed the prince, not saying a word. As she was led out of the house, to the carriage, Sabrina sang out, "There's no blood on the shoe, this is the wife for you."

So Ella went to live at the palace, and married the prince. Deidra and Sabrina didn't stay to find out if she was happy. They had finished their mission. The two of them went back to Damsels, Inc. to report on what they had done.

* * *

NightIntent: Next on the list is Snow White. Which didn't turn out all that great. Please review!


	4. Snow White

NightIntent: Since I have it uploaded anyway, I may as well put it up. I haven't got too much to say before this one. Just that I didn't much like writing it. But I hope you like it, anyway.

Disclaimer: I don't own the fairy tale. But Damsels, Inc. is mine.

* * *

Beryl had been avoiding looking at the letter that was on her desk. It was from dwarfs. Beryl _hated_ working for dwarfs. They were cheapskate scroungers and never acted politely. Finally, though, she forced herself to open the envelope and read what was inside. When she'd finished, she read it again. And sighed. "Dwarfs. Great," she muttered. One of the volunteers opened the door.

"You need anything, Beryl?" she asked, slightly nervous. She was new there, and didn't know what Beryl's limits were yet.

Beryl nodded wearily. "Yeah. A cup of coffee. Oh, and while you're at it, send Dawn to me, please," she requested. "Dwarfs," Beryl muttered again when the door closed.

By the time Dawn walked into the office, Beryl had mostlyovercome her dislike of their clients. "Dawn, you're a tracker, right? I need you to find a glass coffin in the woods. There'll be a girl lying in it," Beryl explained, "and we're going to need you to lead a prince there. Can you do that?"

Dawn, a woman in her early thirties, said, "Sure thing. May I ask what prince?"

"Jason," Beryl said.

"Ah. That explains everything."

* * *

Dawn arrived at the forest where the dwarfs lived. Instead of asking them where the coffin was, she decided to find it herself. She followed a path that looked like it had been much traveled in the last few days. At the end of it was a clearing. There was the coffin she'd been looking for. Dawn's mouth quirked in a little half-smile. The fawning dwarfs had made a glass coffin so that they could see the girl whenever they wanted. What kind of idiots _wanted_ to see a dead body?

Dawn shook her head and went to find the cottage so that she could get the whole story from the dwarfs. They weren't there when she got there, so she sat down to wait. Near sunset, the dwarfs finally came home, singing dully. Dawn shook her head. _Singing,_ she thought in disgust. _What's wrong with dwarfs these days?_

Despite what she thought, she smiled at them cheerfully. "Hello. I'm from Damsels, Inc. I believe you sent us a letter regarding the young mistress in the glass coffin over that way," Dawn said, gesturing in the direction of where the coffin was. "Would you be so kind as to fill me in on what led up to this?"

All seven dwarfs spoke up at once. Then one quieted them all down. "I'll explain," he said. "It started when she was small. Her father married a vain woman, who wanted to be the fairest woman in all the lands. She would ask her mirror who was fairest. When, one day, the mirror replied that Snow White was the fairest, the woman went into a rage. She ordered a hunter to kill Snow White. But the hunter didn't have the heart, and he let Snow White go free. The vain stepmother found out that Snow White was still live, and came here to kill her. The stepmother is a witch, and an evil one. She poisoned an apple, which Snow White ate. And we don't know how to help Snow White."

"Well, I know one way. I'll be back in a day or so, I have to convince someone of something," Dawn said, turning to leave.

"But you can't leave!" the dwarfs cried. "You have to help Snow White."

"That's what I _am_ doing," Dawn said through gritted teeth. She left.

When Dawn returned two days after that, the dwarfs were sitting in their cottage. She had led Prince Jason to the cottage, and was going to show him to the coffin. If he survived that long. Dawn, normally very tolerant, was already tempted to wring his throat. He had complained the whole way there, and was whining even more now that they'd arrived. Dawn ground her teeth together, trying to keep from snapping at him.

"I don't understand why I couldn't bring a coach, and servants," Jason was whining. "I need to look my best if I'm going to save a beautiful maiden. But, no, you have to spite me, you stupid b-  
"

"Say one more syllable, and you'll regret it," Dawn growled. She couldn't stand that boy. "Let's go already." She called to the dwarfs, who followed them to the clearing with the coffin.

Jason stopped as soon as he saw the coffin. "You didn't tell me she was dead!" he cried. "I can't do this!"

"She's not dead, you fool," Dawn snapped. "She's comatose. Those fool dwarfs just aren't smart enough to see the difference."

"Oh," Jason said. Obviously he wasn't smart enough to see the difference, either. He walked over to the coffin and kissed the girl on the lips. Her eyes fluttered open and she sat up.

"Who are you?" she asked quietly.

"My name is Jason. I'm a prince," he said. _Idiot,_ Dawn thought. "Would you marry me?" Jason asked.

The girl's face lit up. "Yes, of course!" she exclaimed. "I have to marry the one who saved me, don't I?"

Dawn shook her head at the combined stupidity of them both, and walked away, thinking, _I really, _really_ don't want to see how their children turn out._ She made her way back to Damsels, Inc. slowly.

* * *

NightIntent: Like I said, I don't really like it. But, oh well. You'll have to wait for the next one to get a better story. So, please review!


	5. A Day at Damsels, Inc Part 1

NightIntent: Okay, this is a story that's actually based _in_ Damsels, Inc. It was very fun to write. It's a two-parter, and I'll post the second one in a few days. Aerinha, thanks for the feedback and advice. I actually wrote this yesterday. I hope everyone likes it!

Disclaimer: Do I need a disclaimer in this one? Everything in this chapter is mine...

* * *

Beryl stared at the mess on her desk. The uppermost one was the document that licensed Damsels, Inc. to help people. Beryl picked it up and read it. It said, "Damsels, Inc. Owned and operated by Beryl Archer of Legenda. Located at 9754 Old Dirt Road, Blackwell, Legenda. Description: A staff of female volunteers helps people in need of them. Non-profit. Primarily funded by Ms. Archer. Donations willingly accepted, but never necessary. Help requests to be sent by letter."

"The certainly rambles," Beryl commented as she replaced it on the desk. Suddenly, little squeakings came from under the desk. As Beryl leaned down, the squeaks turned into barely-heard words. Beryl only needed to see the flash of gray fur and a tail to know what was hiding under the desk. She growled in frustration. "Mice!" she grumbled. "I hate mice!"

Beryl pressed the button that rang a bell in the hallway that let people out in the hall know that Beryl needs someone. A few seconds later, Guinivere slipped her head inside the room. "Assemble all the agents," Beryl ordered. "We're going on a mouse hunt."

A few minutes later, Beryl walked out of her office. She went straight to the main hall, where everyone was standing. Guinivere and Enya were cracking up. All the others were smiling. All of them knew how much Beryl hated mice.

"All right. You all know why I called you here right now. We have mice in the building that we have to drive out," Beryl declared. "I don't want them killed. I don't need little mousy bodies lying around the place, Just find them and stun them. Put them into these burlap sacks." Beryl held up a few burlap sacks. "To have gotten past the spells that Deidra, Caitlin, and Tara set up, these are no normal mice. On top of the fact that they can get past the spells, they can talk." Guinivere and Enya laughed harder. Beryl shook her head. "The only thing worse than an infestation of mice is an infestation of _talking_ mice. That's pretty much it. We'll go in pairs. Guinivere and Keira, Caitlin and Enya, Deidra and Sabrina, and Dawn and Tara."

Beryl paused. "That leaves me alone. I'll meet you guys by the gate. Now, troops, move out!"

All four pairs walked out of the room. Beryl walked to the gate. Guinivere and Keira went upstairs. Keira went around each room and blocked off any likely looking escape routes. Guinivere looked for the actual mice. When she found them, she hit them on the head just hard enough to stun them before she shoved them into her burlap sack.

Caitlin and Enya had gone outside. Enya flushed out the mice and Caitlin put them to sleep with a simple spell. Enya shoved them into the sack. After a few minutes of this, she complained, "Most of the mice got away. Why don't we just get a cat?"

"Because Beryl likes dead mice even less than she likes live ones," Caitlin replied.

Sabrina and Deidra were having rather more success. Sabrina changed into a mouse and led the other mice to where Deidra stood. Deidra then stunned the mice with a spell and put them into the sack. After a while, Sabrina didn't run into any more mice. So the two of them stopped.

Dawn and Tara weren't having much luck. They were working on the first floor. There were next to no mice there, thanks to Sabrina. After a few minutes of not seeing a single mouse, the two of them stopped and made their way to the gate.

As soon as they reached the gate and Beryl, the three of them heard hoof beats. They all looked up, expecting to see a postal carrier delivering a letter. Instead, they came face-to-face with….

* * *

Nightintent: Cliff hangers are so much fun sometimes. Wanna see if you can guess who they meet? I'll post the next one either sometime this weekend or on Monday. Probably during the weekend, though.


	6. A Day at Damsels, Inc Part 2

NightIntent: Here's the second chapter. It's about the same length as the other one, so it's not that long. But it's fun. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I don't really need a disclaimer, do I? There's nothing to do with fairy tales, so... Wait, no. I don't claim happily-ever-after endings as my own. Because they're mentioned in this.

* * *

Now, where did we leave off? Oh, yes. Dawn, Beryl, and Tara were standing face-to-face with… the prince that Guinivere had rescued from being a frog. He rode straight at the gate. Obviously, he expected it to be opened for him, for he didn't slow his horse down. Luckily, the horse was smarter than the master. It stopped a few lengths away from the gate. Unfortunately, the prince wasn't prepared for this, because he went flying off the horse and rammed into the bars of the gate.

Because he was wearing so many layers of thick clothing, the prince wasn't harmed at all. He got up slowly. Throughout this, the three women had been staring, openmouthed and completely dumbfounded. When the prince had stood up, he looked at them for a few seconds as he tried to figure out what to say. Then he demanded, "Open the gate. And, while you're at it, bring me Guinivere. She's coming with me, so that we can get married and live happily ever after."

Dawn, Beryl, and Tara looked at each other. They burst out laughing. For some time, they couldn't stop. All three women were practically rolling on the ground. All the other volunteers, except for Guinivere and Keira, gathered around the gate. They just stared at the three women who were cracking up. Finally, Beryl got control of herself.

"Look here, you," she said. "You must be joking. I'm not going to force Guinivere to come with you just because you've read too many fairy tales. If she wanted to go with you, she would have gone with you when you first offered. Do you think she suddenly changed her mind? I'm certainly not going to force her to go with you, just because you said so. Until you understand that, this gate is staying closed."

The prince's mouth opened and closed a few times. Guinivere chose that moment to come running, her burlap sack trailing behind her. She stopped dead when she spotted the prince. "You!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing here? I told you, I have better things to do than marry you."

Beryl looked at the prince. "See? Now leave," she commanded.

"I am Prince Richard of Dormalkern. You cannot order me around!" Richard announced. "Now open the gate, and allow me to take my beloved away with me to my castle."

"Beloved!" Guinivere exclaimed.

Beryl motioned her to silence. "You have no sway here. This is not Dormalkern. This is Legenda. Now leave. You cannot be here without my permission. If you wish to camp out a few miles from here, go ahead. But I own this entire area, up to the road. Now, have a nice day."

She walked away, beckoning everyone to follow. Guinivere directed one last glare at the idiot prince before she ran off.

"Wait!" he yelled. "This _is_ a fairy tale! Don't you people know how fairy tales end!" When no one turned around, he grabbed his horse and walked off. The people in Damsels, Inc. didn't know it, but he would be staying there for a while.

Beryl went up to her office. Her desk was still a mess. After she'd cleaned it, she sat in her chair, put her head in her hands, and asked the world, "Why does all this have to happen to me?"

* * *

NightIntent: So. You learned a bit more about Damsels, Inc. To clear things up, Tara hasn't yet been introduced. Neither has Caitlin or Enya. Soon they will be. And could you tell that Dormalkern was totally made up on the spot? I'll probably be doing a couple more of these, at random intervals, whenever an idea for one hits me. We'll see how often that happens. Please review!


	7. Rumpelstiltskin

NightIntent: This one's really short. I got lazy. But still, at least it wasn't hard to write. That's what happens when I write three fairy tales in one day. I get lazy. You'll just have to bear with me for now. Well, I hope you enjoy the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own fairy tales. Just Damsels, Inc.

* * *

"You'd think people'd be smarter when it comes to their children," Beryl murmured as she tossed a letter onto her desk. "Enya, this'll be your job."

A girl, who couldn't be more than seventeen and had dark skin and blonde-streaked brown hair, nodded. "Yes, ma'am. Where is it?" she asked.

"A few days' travel to the north. Remember to pack a good jacket," Beryl said. Enya nodded and went to her room to pack.

* * *

Enya got to the city. She went to the person who had sent the letter, a young queen by marriage. The queen was sitting in a chair in her room, sobbing, her child in a cradle a few feet away. Enya walked over. "Now, what's all this?" she asked.

The queen looked up. "Oh! Are you the one from Damsels, Inc.?" she asked. When Enya nodded, the woman continued, "I'll start from the beginning. My father is a miller, and he was poor. He wanted more for me, so he lied to the king and told him that I could spin straw into gold. So the king took me into a room filled with straw and told me to spin all the straw in the room into gold.

"I cried and cried, and a little man passing by the window stopped and asked me what was wrong, I told him and he asked me what I would give him if he spun the straw into gold. I gave him my necklace. The next night, the same thing happened. I gave him my ring. On the third night, I had nothing left to give him. So I promised him my first child. And now, I have my child, but I do not want to give it to him. He gave me three days to come up with his name, and he would allow me to keep my child. But tonight is the third night, and I have not guessed his name! Oh, I do not want to lose my child."

_Wow,_ Enya thought, _how much stupider can you get? I'm so glad I was forced to raise myself now._ Out loud, she said, "Perhaps I can help. Do you know where I might find this man?"

The queen shook her head. "Well, I can find him myself. Somehow," Enya said. She started off, going in the direction that the queen had said the man had run off in. It wasn't long before she heard a voice chanting, "Tomorrow I take the child, I'm so glad she didn't know that my name is Rumpelstiltskin." The voice chanted it again and again.

Enya peeked through the bushes and saw a small, withered man cooking and chanting. She smiled and ran back to the palace. "You majesty," she panted, "the man's name is Rumpelstiltskin." The queen jumped up and embraced Enya, suddenly joyful.

That night, the little man came in through the window. Enya was hidden in a corner, watching. The queen tried guessing the man's name. After a few fake guesses, she said, "Oh! I know! Is your name Rumpelstiltskin?"

The little man jumped up and down in a rage. "You! You sent someone to spy on me! No fair, no fair!" But a deal was a deal, and he left.

The queen was overjoyed. She said to Enya, "What reward would you like?"

Enya said, "If you sent a letter to Damsels, Inc., then you know we don't take rewards for what we do. Now, I should really be going." Enya ran out of the room without another word, not wanting to be pestered anymore.

* * *

NightIntent: Okay, at the moment, I'm trying to decide whether or not to put up Rapunzel. Personally, I hate my version of it. But if you think I should put it up anyway, please tell me so. If not, I'm deleting it and erasing all evidence that it ever existed. If I don't post that one, Briar Rose is going up .If you have no opinion on this, review anyway, please.


	8. Briar Rose

NightIntent: I don't really have much to say. My re-makes are getting a lot shorter, don't you think? Hopefully the next one I write'll be better. Oh, by the way. Since I didn't get many opinions on whether you wanna see Rapunzel or not, I'm using it as a last resort, if I run out of things to post before I get back to my dad's house. That's where all my stuff is, my book of fairy tales, the computer I type stuff up on, and the disk I use to transfer the typed up stories to the computer that's hooked up to the internet. So I'll only post it if I don't get back to my dad's house before I've posted all my stories.

Disclaimer: I don't own the fairy tale. I just made up Damsels, Inc., the employees, and Richard. And his country.

* * *

"Well, this is something new," Beryl commented to the old woman standing near her. It was Caitlin.

"Indeed," Caitlin agreed. "A fairy's curse. Not much different than a witch's, but still different. Allow me to find a suitable prince to rescue this poor princess. I believe I know someone quite… suitable for the position."

Beryl nodded. "Very well. Go ahead. May I ask who you have in mind?"

Caitlin smiled mysteriously. "Of course. I can't say that I'll answer."

"Then who is it?"

"I can't answer."

* * *

Caitlin, on her way to the castle, stopped off at the kingdom of Dormalkern. (Can you see where this is going?) She picked up Prince Richard from the palace there. The two of them went to find the princess's palace in the next kingdom over. When they found it, Prince Richard was ready to back down and go back home.

"But… how are we going to get through all the bushes? They have _thorns_," he whined.

"Well, yes. They _are_ roses, after all," Caitlin responded. "As to how we're going to get through it…. Well." She stepped forward and cast a spell, a long series of intricate words. Richard didn't understand a single word of it. When she'd finished, Caitlin stood where she was, panting. Seconds later, the roses cleared a path. Caitlin started up it, not bothering to see if Richard followed.

Richard, after staring at the new path for a few seconds, started up it, running to catch up with Caitlin. She didn't slow down at all. The two of them made their way into the castle. Inside it, nothing moved. Dust coated everything. The people inside it has fallen asleep where they were. Some people still had expressions on their faces, unlike those from sleep. A few looked mad, some sad, but most just slept.

The two rescuers made their way through the castle. Finally, they reached the bottom of the stairway that led to the highest tower. They climbed it. It took them a while. Surprisingly (well, surprising to one who doesn't know either Caitlin or Richard), Richard tired out first. The pathetic thing about it was that he tired out in less than one hundred steps. And he had to rest for five minutes, then he could only do one hundred more. Caitlin never tired, despite being old. Because of Richard, it took them over an hour to reach the top.

At the top of the stairs was a room. In the room was a bed, which had a princess. She was stunningly beautiful. Richard went straight over to the bed. He kissed the sleeping princess on the mouth. Her eyes fluttered for the first time in years. They opened, and she smiled at Richard.

Richard was besotted. "Will you marry me?" he asked.

"I would… but I can't," the princess said apologetically. "See, I'm already engaged. He's sitting somewhere in the palace. Besides, I refuse to marry someone I just met. So, thank you very much for the offer, but I can't. And won't."

Richard looked stunned. Caitlin smiled and walked away. _Finally,_ she thought, _a smart princess who can stand up for herself._ She shook her head as she heard Richard arguing with her, and kept walking. She wanted to get back home, where she could rest and garden and possibly get an actually halfway decent assignment.

* * *

NightIntent: Little Red Riding Hood is up next. because that's the only other one I have uploaded at this point in time. Please review.


	9. Little Red Riding Hood

NightIntent: Again, not much to say. There are a couple changes to this one, from the Brothers Grimm version. Like pizza. Hope you like it anyway, though.

Disclaimer: I don't own fairy tales.

* * *

"Gods," Beryl muttered, throwing the letter onto her desk. "Wolves, grandmothers, and little girls. Why can't people start thinking?" She pressed a button on her desk. A volunteer popped her head in. "Get me Keira, please." The volunteer nodded and slipped her head back outside the door.

Minutes later, the door opened again and Keira walked into the office. "You have an assignment for me, boss?" she inquired.

Beryl nodded. "Basically what happened is this: a girl went to bring her sick grandmother cake and wine, stopped to get flowers, and a wolf beat her to the house. The wolf ate the grandmother and lay in wait for the girl to come, disguising himself as the grandmother. He's obviously some sort of enchanted or magical wolf, because he can talk. Anyway, he ate the girl, too. But the report there says that his stomach isn't shrinking. It kicks every now and then, as if something alive is still in it. It's only a few towns over. I want you to get a horse, ride over there, and cut open this wolf. Its two victims are probably still alive, judging by the reports."

Keira nodded. "Right," she said. "Sounds easy."

* * *

Hours later, Keira rode into town on a slightly winded horse. She asked directions from a helpful villager, and walked the rest of the way to the cottage, leaving the horse in an inn stable. It didn't take long for her to see the cottage through the trees. Keira grinned, slowly walking towards it, making no noise. When she reached the door, she knocked loudly.

"Who's there?" came from inside. "Oh, never mind, must be the pizza I ordered. The door's unlocked, come in!"

Keira pushed open the door. Inside, the house was a mess. On the other side of the bed was a bed. In this bed, a large wolf sat. His stomach was extremely bloated. Suddenly, it heaved. The wolf closed his eyes and moaned in pain. "Stupid girl…." he muttered. He looked up and saw Keira. "Where's my pizza?" he demanded.

"Pizza?" Keira queried idly. "Oh, did I not introduce myself? Of course I didn't. My name's Keira. I'm from Damsels, Inc. And you, dear sir wolf, really shouldn't have eaten a girl and her grandmother." Keira smiled politely, pulling a knife from her belt.

The wolf shot out of the bed. "You can't kill me!" he said, obviously trying to figure out a good reason for this statement. "I'm… I'm a prince. Yeah, that's right! I'm under a spell. You have to kiss me to make me turn back!"

Keira, fully aware that the wolf was tricking her and going along with it, walked over to the wolf and kissed him on the muzzle. Instantly, the wolf swallowed her whole, opening his jaws wider than any normal wolf. Keira had time to think, _Well, he certainly is under some sort of spell_, before she bumped into something. She looked at what it was. It was a little girl. An old woman was behind her.

"Oh, no!" the girl cried. "You got eaten, too? But… I thought someone came to help us."

Keira smiled, a predator's grin. "Oh, but I did. You'll see." Keira hefted the knife that was still in her hand and slid it into the soft, wet "walls" surrounding the three people. It cut as easily as butter. (Which, despite the way people make it sound, isn't always that easy to do.) The three people jumped out of the now-dead wolf's stomach, covered in blood.

"My job here is done," Keira said. "'Bye." She walked out the door and got her horse, riding back to Damsels, Inc.

* * *

NightIntent: I suck at ending things, don't I? So. I'm not posting Rapunzel. Period. BUT! I'm making my own version of Snow White. With a guy as the one who needs to be rescued. No kissing in that one. But there are other things. That I will not reveal at this moment, because it gives stuff away. Please review!


	10. Character Profiles

NightIntent: Okay, since people have been asking for personalities and such, here they are. I'm not good at incorporating them into stories. At least, not consistently. So I just put them all together. Enjoy!

**

* * *

**

**Keira**

_Appearance_: Brown eyes, light brown hair, thick-set.

_Age_: About thirty-five.

_Personality_: She has a fairly good sense of humor, but she's serious a lot of the time. Brave, and always knows what's right. She went to Damsels, Inc. Because she believed in the cause, and she didn't really need any money for the way she lived.

_History_: She was a doctor in the army for years, and she learned a lot about life there. That's part of the reason why she's so serious. She knows how to handle people well, because she was around the royal court a lot. Her father was physician to a small-time noble, which is part of the reason why Keira became a doctor.

**Guinivere**

_Appearance_: Blonde hair, blue eyes, slim, somewhat tall. Pretty.

_Age_: Fifteen.

_Personality_: Very, very happy most of the time. Normally acts like an idiot, though she's really very clever. She's an actress, and rather good at it. She enjoys to trick people. She can't stand idiots.

History: She's the princess of Milagro. Her little brother annoys her. She left home because she wanted to do something, and Damsels, Inc. Seemed the perfect place to do that.

**Enya**

_Appearance_: Dark skin, streaked blonde hair, and dark eyes. Somewhat short, though not too short.

_Age_: Seventeen.

_Personality_: Quiet and withdrawn. She doesn't make friends easily. Her and Guinivere get along very well. Enya, despite being rather introverted, has a really good sense of humor. She loves playing pranks on people, and scaring them.

_History_: Enya was raised on the streets among a small group of other kids. She never knew who her parents were. She stole from people as her living from a young age. When she tunred sixteen, she found out about Damsels, Inc.

**Sabrina**

_Appearance_: Small, dark skin and hair, blue eyes.

_Age_: Eighteen.

_Personality_: Kind of quiet. She has a sense of humor, though it's a bit wicked and hard to understand. No one really knows much about her, other than the fact that she's best friends with Deidra.

_History_: She was shunned by her mother because of her ability to change into animals at will. Her grandparents took her in. She had a happy childhood, though she never met her mother again.

**Deidra**

_Appearance_: Slim, average height, light skin and dark hair, honey colored eyes.

_Age_: Eighteen.

_Personality_: She's more talkative that Sabrina, though that's not very hard. She's best friends with Sabrina, who she practically grew up with. She's got a weird sense of humor, just like Sabrina. She's more easily understandable.

_History_: Deidra grew up in a large house that had a large number of her family housed in it. Her family has a long line of witches and sorcerers. She was raised knowing how to control her magic.

**Dawn**

_Appearance_: Dark blonde hair, tall, gray eyes.

_Age_: Twenty five.

_Personality_: She laughs a lot. Other than that, Dawn has no sense of humor. She doesn't take well to being ridiculed, and never forgives those who laugh at something she does. Rather serious most of the time.

_History_: Dawn was a hunter and tracker before she joined Damsels, Inc. It's unknown quite why she joined, just that she did. Dawn had a talent for tracking even from a young age.

**Caitlin**

_Appearance_: Gray hair, brown eyes. Stands straight, with her head held high. She's average height.

_Age_: Sixty-five.

_Personality_: A bit introverted, she doesn't talk much. She laughs at a few things, but only that which she finds funny. She's wise, and normally very serious. She doesn't tolerate fools well. And Caitlin strongly believes that women can be strong by themselves.

_History_: She's distantly related to Deidra. No one really knows what she was like when she was younger, because she refuses to talk about it, even to Beryl. She's a powerful sorceress.

**Tara** (has not yet been introduced)

_Appearance_: Black hair, blue eyes, between average height and tall.

_Age_: Twenty.

_Personality_: She likes to laugh, and has a great sense of humor. She plays pranks on the people at Damsels, Inc. sometimes. Not that often, but she still does. Tara also likes to talk.

_History_: A witch, she grew up away from her family. Her father was the only one with magic in her family, so he took her in. She doesn't know anything much about her mother's family, though she was raised with her cousins on her father's side.

* * *

NightIntent: Okay. My version of Snow White will be posted soon. As soon as I finish it. Maybe. Or I might make you all wait. It depends. You don't need to review this chapter, if you don't want to. 


	11. OneEye, TwoEyes, ThreeEyes

NightIntent: Okay. Here's One-Eyes, Two-Eyes, Three-Eyes. The end corresponds with the ending of the next chapter/story. So, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own the fairy tale.

* * *

"Well, this is new," Beryl commented. "A woman starving her own daughter. Well, I suppose we can teach the woman a lesson." She rang the bell and, a few seconds later, a woman who looked to be about twenty stepped inside.

"You wanted something, Beryl?" the young woman asked softly.

Beryl tipped her head to the side. She mused, "I think you'll do well for this one. Tara, how would you like to go save a girl from her evil mother?"

"Mother?" Tara inquired mildly. "And here I was under the impression that it was always stepmothers who are evil."

Beryl laughed slightly and said, "Yeah, this one's the exception to the rule. She hates her daughter because she has two eyes, whereas her other two daughters have one and three eyes, respectively. So the mother basically starves the daughter, and treats her like a servant. Worse than, I suppose."

"All right. I'll go. I'd like to see what kind of a mother would do that to her own child," Tara said. "Do you know where the father is?"

"You know, I don't know where he is," Beryl said. "You can ask someone that when you get there. Anyway, here's what you do…." Beryl whispered something into Tara's ear. As she listened, the young woman began to smile, a mischievous light coming into her eyes.

* * *

When Tara got to the meadow where Two-Eyes looked after the family's goat, she saw a girl crying. She walked up tot the girl. "Why are you crying?" she asked. 

The girl looked up. "I am crying because my mother and two sisters hate me. They hate me because I look like normal people. They make me sleep in a corner, give me old clothes to wear, and don't give me anywhere near enough to eat. I don't know what to do!"

"Well, you could run away," Tara suggested.

The girl's eyes widened. "Oh, I could not do that! How would I survive in the world, without my family to look after me?"

"Quite easily, really. Just walk away and find some other goat to take care of." The girl looked at Tara with suspicion. Tara sighed. "Oh, well, I had to try. I can take care of one thing for you. I can't help how your family treats you, but I can make sure you have enough to eat. Would you like that?"

The girl nodded vigorously. "Alright," Tara said. She pointed at the goat that was grazing nearby. "Whenever you wish to eat, just say to your goat, 'Goat, goat, bleat! Little table, set!' At that time, a feast will appear in the meadow. When you are finished, say to you goat, 'Goat, goat, bleat! Little table, go!' The table will vanish and none will know it was ever here." She vanished into thin air.

But Tara didn't go far. She reappeared in the bushes. She watched as Two-Eyes said to herself, "This I must see! Goat, goat, bleat! Little table, set!" A table appeared in front of her, laden with food. She ate to her heart's content, and said, "Goat, goat, bleat! Little table, set!" The table, and all the food on it, vanished.

Tara smiled, satisfied. She settled down and waited for the trouble to start.

The next day, no one noticed that Two-Eyes didn't eat. They didn't notice the next day, either. But the third, they started to wonder why she wasn't even touching the small bowl of food she was given each day. One-Eye asked to follow her to the goat field. When her mother agreed, she did so.

On the way to the field, Two-Eyes started to chant. "One-Eye, are you awake? One-Eye, are you asleep?" She continued to chant this until One-Eye's eye flicked shut and she fell asleep. Then Two-Eyes said, "Goat, goat, bleat. Little table, set."

When she'd eaten her fill, she woke her sister and they walked back home together.

The next day, Three-Eyes went to the field with Two-Eyes. On the way, Two-Eyes chanted, "Three-Eyes, are you awake? Two-Eyes, are you asleep?" When they got to the field, Three-Eye's eyes closed. But only two fell asleep. The third one stayed awake, watching Two-Eyes.

Two-Eyes told the goat, "Goat, goat, bleat. Little table, set." She ate and said, "Goat, goat, bleat. Little table, go." Then she woke up Three-Eyes and they went home.

At the house, Three-Eyes told the mother, "Two-Eyes talks to the goat, and a table filled with food appears. Then she says something else and it vanishes!" Tara, watching this, blinked. _That has to have been the vaguest description ever,_ she thought. _And not exactly the smartest, either._

The mother got a cruel light in her eyes. "Well, we must do something about this," she commented. She pulled out a kitchen knife and went and killed the goat. She cut off the head and dropped it in front of Two-Eyes. "Here's your precious goat. What will you do now?"

Two-Eyes started to cry. Tara called softly from the window. When Two-Eyes walked over, Tara whispered, "Take the entrails of he goat and bury them near the house." Two-Eyes nodded and walked over to her mother and sisters, who were dividing up the goat.

"Please, may I have one piece of the goat?" Two-Eyes requested.

"Which part?" her mother asked shrewdly.

"The entrails," Two-Eyes answered.

Her mother and sisters laughed. She wanted the worst part? Then let her have it. They gave the entrails to the girl. Two-Eyes went outside and buried them in the ground and then went to bed.

The next morning, Two-Eyes didn't have anything to do, seeing as her goat had been killed. But she was up early anyway. She went outside. In the place where she'd buried the goat's entrails was a beautiful, silver and gold tree. She marveled. Her family came out.

"My, that's a lovely tree!" Two-Eyes' mother remarked.

Tara had been busy the night before. She'd directed a nobleman to the silver-and-gold tree that she'd known would grow, and told him the directions. Then she had to actually make the tree grow. By morning, she was exhausted. Tara lay slumped against a tree trunk, hidden by a bush.

Less than an hour after the family had discovered the tree, the nobleman that Tara had seen the night before arrived. He was handsome, rich, and a young bachelor. He marveled at the tree, much as Two-Eyes had done. "Whose tree is this?" he inquired.

"Why, it's mine," Two-Eyes' mother lied.

"If it's yours, then you should have no problem getting me a branch off of it," the nobleman said.

"Why, of course not, if that is your wish," the mother said. "Let me just climb up and grab one for you." She climbed up, but it seemed as if the branches of the tree moved away from her reaching hands. She just couldn't seem to grab one. "I am old, and my muscles don't stretch like they used to. My daughter will go up."

So One-Eye tried, and the same thing happened. Three-Eyes followed her. Still no one could grab a branch. Two-Eyes, who had been off cleaning the kitchen, arrived at this time.

"Sir, that is my tree," she said. "What are you doing?"

"If it is your tree, can you get me a branch from it?" the nobleman asked.

"Why, certainly," Two-Eyes responded. She climbed up and pulled a branch off the tree easily. Two-Eyes handed the branch to the nobleman.

"Such a maiden so pure of heart I will make my wife," he said, acting as Tara had told him to. "Come." Two-Eyes mounted his horse and they rode off together.

"Well, at least we still have the tree," the mother remarked. But they didn't even have this, for during the night Tara relocated it to outside the nobleman's house. She then set off for Damsels, Inc.

At Damsels, Inc., Tara stuck her head into Beryl's office. Beryl sat with her head in her hands, surrounded by papers scattered all through the office. Tara said, "Hey, Beryl? That was boring. Can I get a more interesting job next time? Please?" Beryl raised her head and stared at the young woman.

"You want interesting?" Beryl asked. "How about you go turn that Richard back into a frog? One that can't talk this time."

Tara grinned. "I would, but that's a bit beyond me. Besides," she added, her eyes sparkling, "Guinivere might miss him."

* * *

NightIntent: Next up is my second side story at Damsels, Inc. It's only one chapter. Then... well, I have to decide what to do next. Anyone got a suggestion? Please review! 


	12. Another Day at Damsels, Inc

NightIntent: My second side story at Damsels, Inc. It's shorter. And Richard's back. And even dumber than before.

Disclaimer: No disclaimer for this chapter.

* * *

Beryl's desk was finally organized. It had taken her a week of off-and-on cleaning, but she finally knew exactly where everything was. Beryl paused, holding the last file. She wondered just how long the organized state of the desk would last. Then she moved to put the file away. A loud crash downstairs made her drop the file on the floor. 

The file fell open and all the papers fell out. Beryl gathered them up slowly, wondering what the noise had been. As she was about to put them back into the folder, she glanced at the papers. They were the forms that each of the volunteers had filled out when they first came to Damsels, Inc. Beryl leafed through them, smiling at the memories they brought back.

Beryl slipped the papers back inside their folder. She was about to put it in its rightful place, but another loud crash interrupted her. She tossed the folder onto her desk and sprinted out of her office, not bothering to close the door. One crash wasn't anything to worry about, but _two_….

Beryl ran down the stairs. When she got to the front hall, she stopped dead. Enya and Guinivere were lugging boxes from the closet to the far end of the front hall. Deidra was leaning against the wall, trying not to laugh. Beryl leaned against the wall, too, but she wasn't laughing. She rubbed her hand over her face.

"What in all the worlds is going on here?" Beryl demanded.

Guinivere and Enya dropped the box they were carrying and whirled around. Beryl winced at the crash the box made when it was dropped. The two grinned sheepishly as Deidra's contained laughter burst out.

"Umm…." Enya started sheepishly.

"Well, you see-" Guinivere started.

"I don't think I even want to know," Beryl said. She walked back up the stairs and down the hall to her office. She passed Sabrina, Keira, and Caitlin on her way. She requested, "Help them with those boxes, please." The three other women nodded as Beryl walked past them. Beryl didn't see, but Caitlin followed her. Beryl walked on to her office.

The door was closed. Beryl blinked, confused. She knew that she'd left the door open. Beryl opened it. Papers were flying everywhere in the room. Standing behind Beryl's desk, throwing more papers into the air, was Richard of Dormalkern.

Beryl shrieked. "You stupid fool!" she yelled. "What the hell do you think you're doing!"

Richard whipped around, the papers in his hands flying everywhere. When he put his foot down, he stepped on a piece of paper. Before his weight went onto his other foot, the paper whisked out from underneath him. Richard fell to the ground. Beryl frowned. That wasn't normal. A small snort came from behind her. Turning, Beryl saw Caitlin standing in the hallway. Beryl grinned at the older woman and turned back to Richard.

"Well?" she asked in a dangerously sweet voice. "What were you doing?"

Richard fumbled to get up. He stammered, "W-well, I… I wanted to know exactly what you do here. Yeah, that's it! I wanted to know the history of this place. You know, whether any princess from here ever married any prince she'd sav-" Richard slammed his hand over his mouth and mumbled something that sounded like a curse.

"Didn't mean to tell me that?" Beryl asked, her voice still sweet.

Richard uncovered his mouth. "I want my fairy tale ending!" he proclaimed, stamping his foot on the floor. His voice had more than a hint of a whine in it as he added, "Is Guinivere here?"

Guinivere waltzed into the room. "No, I'm not here," she informed him. "I took a vacation. I went to visit my family. You can find me there."

"Oh. Okay." Richard started to walk out of the door. In the hallway, he paused. "Wait. You're right there."

Guinivere tossed her hair over her shoulder and laughed. "No, I'm not. This is just a… what's the word I'm looking for? Oh, yes. I'm a hologram," she said.

"Oh." Richard left.

As soon as they could no longer hear Richard's footsteps, Beryl, Guinivere, and Caitlin all burst out laughing.

A minute later, however, they heard footsteps again. Richard walked back into Beryl's office. "I just realized that I don't know where Guinivere's family lives," he announced.

Beryl rolled her eyes as Caitlin snapped her fingers. Guinivere vanished, though her laughter still remained. Richard blinked.

"Wh-where did she go?" he asked, bewildered.

"It was a hologram, right?" Caitlin clarified. "Someone turned it off. Obviously."

"Oh. Why did I come here again?" Richard inquired.

"To find out where Guinivere lives. She lives in Milagro. Now go," Beryl ordered.

Richard glared at Beryl, annoyed. "Fine." He walked out of the room.

Caitlin snapped her fingers again and Guinivere reappeared, laughing silently. Beryl shooed both of them out of her office. When she was alone, she sat in the chair behind her desk and looked around at the chaos that was her office. "A week's worth of work," she muttered. "All destroyed in less than ten minutes." She sat at her desk, her head in her hands.

Just then, Tara opened the door and stuck her head in. "Hey, Beryl? That was boring. Can I get a more interesting job next time? Please?"

Beryl lifted her head and stared at Tara. "You want interesting? How about you go and turn him back into a frog? One that can't talk this time."

Tara grinned. "I would, but that's a bit beyond me. Besides," she added, her eyes sparkling, "Guinivere might miss him."

* * *

NightIntent: See? Corresponding ending from One-Eye, Two-Eyes, Three-Eyes. Plus it explains how the desk got like that. I have no clue whatsoever what I'm doing for the next chapter. Still. Well, see you next chapter. And please review! If I don't get any reviews again, I'll stop adding to this. I just had this one uploaded already, so I figured I'd post it. So review. Please? 


	13. The Raven

NigthIntent: I finally did a longer one! Yeah, I changed a few things. But still, it's as close to the original as I could get it. I wasn't about to have Keira fall in love with a princess and make a hut and stay in it for a year. Anyways, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own The Raven. Just Damsels, Inc., its employees, and Richard.

* * *

Beryl sighed. She turned to Keira, who was standing near the door. "Your assignment. Have a nice time. Don't be an idiot with it. Oh, right, you'll have to dress as a man again. To trick the people, you know."

"Sure, sure, that's nice," Keira said, already walking out the door.

Beryl glared at Keira's retreating back. "She's old enough to know better," she muttered.

Keira walked through the forest that the letter referred to. She wore pants, a loose shirt, heavy boots, and a hat that hid her hair. Her breasts were bound flat, so the loose shirt wasn't strictly necessary. But Keira believed in being prepared. Suddenly, a raven flew down in front of her.

The raven said, "I am a princess by birth and am bewitched, but you can save me from this spell."

"And how can I do that?" Keira asked.

"If you go further into this forest, you will see a house. There will be an old woman in it. Don't ether eat or drink anything she offers you. If you do, you will fall asleep and won't be able to free me. In the garden behind the house, there is a heap of coal. Wait there for me. For three days, I will come at two o'clock in a carriage drawn, the first time, by four white horses, the second by four red horses, and the third time by four black horses. If you are sleeping when I come, you will not be able to free me, so please try to stay awake," the raven pleaded.

Keira promised that she would try. As she was saying this, the raven said, "Ah! You will not free me! The old woman is crafty, and will more than likely trick you! I will never be free!" She flew off, her cries of despair trailing behind her.

"Pessimist," Keira muttered under her breath, glaring in the direction the raven had flown off in. After a short time, Keira saw a house. As she walked through the gate, an old woman appeared in front of her.

"Oh, sir, you look very tired!" the woman exclaimed ingratiantingly. "Please, have some wine and a bit to eat. I insist."

"No, no, I cannot," Keira said. "If you would put me up for the night, I would be much obliged. It is almost dark, and it seems to me that I'm nowhere near the end of this forest."

"Yes, yes, you must stay for the night, at the very least," the old woman said. "Please, make yourself comfortable. But, if you will not eat, at least have a glass of wine. Really, if you turn down my hospitality, I will be very insulted."

Keira gave in, and accepted the glass of wine. She only drank half of it, and then set it on the table. The old woman smiled in a secretive way. Keira relaxed or the rest of the night, lounging around, waiting for two. Finally, at one, Keira went outside to wait. She stood by the heap of coal, as the raven had told her to. Before a half hour had passed, Keira started to feel drowsy. She lay down and fell asleep next to the coal.

At two, the raven arrived, her carriage pulled by four white horses, as she'd said it would be. She stared at Keira's prone form, lying next to the coal heap, and rode off sadly. The echo of the horse's feet drowned out Keira's snores. She never once woke up, until the sun shone in her eyes. She sat bolt upright, annoyed with herself for giving in to the old woman's nagging. She swore to herself that it wouldn't happen again.

Keira went back into the house. She requested, "Would you mind if I stayed here for another night?"

The old woman looked delighted and said, "Of course, of course, stay as long as you wish. But, please, you must eat something."

Keira nodded, but didn't reply. She wouldn't promise anything to the woman. But, that night, the woman offered Keira food and wine again. Keira was hungry, so she ate a single bite of the food that she was being offered. Again, at one, she went out to wait for the raven. At two, when the raven arrived in her red-horse-driven carriage, Keira was snoring. The raven stared sadly at her form again, and continued on her way.

This time, Keira didn't sleep until the sun woke her up. At dawn she woke up, feeling hung over for some reason. She sat up slowly, rubbing her head. Then Keira remembered what she had done. "Ugh! I'm being an idiot!" she exclaimed. "Tonight, I _will not_ be tricked by that woman!"

However, that night Keira was hungrier than she'd been for many years. The old woman put a plate of food in front of Keira, and Keira couldn't resist. She ate it all, and drank the wine, too. Just before two, Keira went out to the coal heap. She was asleep before a minute had passed, sprawled on the ground, snoring loudly once again.

The raven rode by in her carriage again. She muttered, "I knew it." Before she left, the raven left a letter by Keira. Then she went on her way.

The next morning, not even the sun woke Keira up. She finally woke up by herself. She stretched, yawned, and saw the letter by her side. She picked it up.

The letter read, "Since you will never save me here (am I psychic, or what?), if you still wish to save me you can go to the Golden Castle of Zaronha, and there you can try to break my spell." Keira glared at the letter.

"Stupid woman," she muttered. "And here I thought my mother was a pessimist." She crumbled up the letter and shoved it into her pocket. She walked into the house again. "Hey!" she called. "I'm leaving now! See you around." Keira picked up her pack and walked out the door. There was no sign of the old woman.

After traveling for a couple days, and sending a report to Beryl so that she wouldn't worry, Keira reached the Golden Castle. "It doesn't look so golden to me," Keira commented. She was right. The castle looked just like every other castle, if a bit more run down. It was dull, grey stone, rather on the small side for a castle, and the stones were aged and old-looking. Keira stared at it doubtfully. She walked in through the gate anyway.

A woman was staring out of a window. She threw a stone down to Keira, with a paper attached to it. Keira didn't notice the falling missive and it hit her on the head. "Ow!" she cried. "What the" She bent down and picked up the paper-wrapped stone. Keira looked up. "What do you think you're doing?" she demanded when she saw the woman in the window. The woman just smiled mysteriously and retreated away from the window.

Keira glared at the window. This mission was fraying her temper. She read the note. It said something like, "I must tell you this. I am the raven whom you met in the forest, turned back into my real form by the witch whom you met in the house. She locked me in this castle, and I rely on you to rescue me." Keira hacked.

"Man. Talk about split personalities," she murmured. Keira went to the front door of the castle. She knocked. A young woman, not the one from the window, answered it.

"Good day to you, sir," she said cheerfully. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"Yes, there is," Keira said. "Can I take the woman who turns into a raven?"

"I'm afraid that that's not possible, sir," the girl said, sounding regretful. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No, thank you for your time," Keira responded. She went outside the castle grounds, and decided she needed to go elsewhere to think about things. She settled for a hut she'd seen nearby.

That night, when Keira was fast asleep, three thieves passed by the hut she was staying in. They were all hitting each other. To interrupt them, Keira yelled, "Hey!" They didn't seem to hear her. So she yelled instead, "Will you be quiet?" They didn't hear her again, so she yelled even louder, "_Shut up!_" The robbers looked around, but didn't see anyone. Keira stepped out of the hut she was staying in. "You're awfully loud for robbers," she remarked.

The robbers looked startled. Keira asked, "Do you have any way to help me get into that castle?"

The robbers glanced at each other. The first said, "I have a stick that opens all doors it touches." The second informed Keira, "This cloak makes the wearer invisible." The third stated, "This horse can ride up any mountain."

"Would you trade the stick and cloak for some other artifact that is more valuable?" Keira inquired. "But first I must test them, to see if they will be useful."

The robbers agreed, and Keira took the cloak and stick with her. She wrapped the cloak around herself and became instantly invisible. She walked up to the front door of the castle and tapped it with the stick. It swung open easily. Keira slipped inside. The castle was pitch black. It took her a while, but she finally found the room where the princess was staying. Outside the room, in the hallway, was a painting of a man.

Keira recognized the man. Merric. She just barely kept from shrieking, but it was a close call. The picture portrayed the vampire perfectly. He was just barely smile, not even a smirk. His eyebrows quirked up slightly, and he looked as if he thought everyone was beneath him. Keira stumbled backwards, into the wall. "No," she whispered to herself. "He's not here, remember. Malcolm's chasing him, he _can't_ be here. It's just a picture." She shook her head. The picture had distracted her, and unsettled her nerves. She got back on track.

But first, she had to do something about that picture. She pulled her dagger out of its sheathe and pulled it down the painting, effectively slicing it in half. She did this a few more times, until the painting was just a few ragged stripes of cloth with oil paint. Keira smiled at her handiwork.

Keira re-sheathed her dagger and tapped the princess's door with the stick. She opened it slowly, so as to not startle the princess. The princess was lying in her bed, waiting for Keira. As soon as Keira walked in the room, the princess ran up to her and kissed her, right on the lips. "My hero!" the princess cried as soon as she'd released Keira.

"Blech!" Keira cried, backing away hurriedly. Then she realized what had happened. "Will you be quiet? Or are you trying to wake up the witch?"

"Sorry," the princess muttered, not looking it at all. She looked offended that Keira had backed off from her kiss. Which makes sense, seeing as the princess thought Keira was a man. But Keira didn't care about that. She grabbed the princess's hand and pulled her close so that the cloak could cover them both. They snuck out of the castle, the princess clinging to Keira tightly. Keira sighed.

Once out of the castle, Keira went back to the hut where she'd spent part of the night. The robbers waited for her. "Sorry, guys, but I don't think they're for me," Keira said apologetically, the princess still clinging to her. She handed their items back to the robbers. They took them, shrugging a bit. The robbers continued on their way, but Keira stayed where she was.

"You're going to have to let go of me at some point," she informed the princess, who refused to let go of Keira. "I suppose I'll let you in on my secret early. If I don't, you'll just stay attached to me forever, won't you?" The princess looked up at Keira pleadingly. "I'm not really a man. I'm a woman, I just dressed as a man so that I could save you."

The princess gaped. She released Keira and stumbled backwards quickly. "You… you… liar!" she cried. "I can't believe I was saved by a _cross-dresser_!" The girl was really over dramatic. She started to run away.

Keira grabbed the girl's hand. "Look, I can set you up with a prince. Or I can return you to your family," Keira offered.

The princess looked doubtful. Finally, she said, "A prince."

"All right, but I'm warning you, he's not much of a prince," Keira said. She took the girl to Damsels, Inc. There was only one prince there. Richard. "Hey, Richard! I got a princess for you! One that might actually respond to your attentions!"

Richard walked over to the two women. "What?" he asked. "Oh, her? I don't like her. Guinivere's prettier."

Keira rolled her eyes. "But Guinivere doesn't like you," she told him tolerantly. "She does." This was true. The princess's face had lit up at her first sight of Richard.

The princess gasped. "He's so handsome!" she murmured. "Yes, he'll do nicely for my husband." Louder, she announced, "You're coming with me. Your name's Richard, right? Yes, you'll come with me, and become my husband. If anyone asks, you saved me from the evil witch. Now, let's go." She grabbed Richard's hand and started to drag him off.

"You'd never guess, from her size, that she's strong enough to drag anyone," someone murmured in Keira's ear. Keira turned. Tara was standing next to her, grinning wickedly. "Of course, dragging that idiot isn't all that hard." Keira grinned in return and went back to watching Richard try to struggle to get away from the new princess.

"Yeah," she said. "I think they'll get along just fine. I just hope he gets away before the wedding. Just imagine how lonely Guinivere would be without him here." Keira fluttered her eyelashes innocently.

"I heard that!" Guinivere cried. "I will so _not_ miss him!"

Keira's grin widened as she went to report to Beryl what had happened on her mission.

* * *

NightIntent: Yes, I will keep bugging Guinivere about Richard. It's fun. And he's never, ever going away. I have no clue whatsoever what the next chapter'll be. Even if I did, I can't post it for at least a week, probably closer to two. I don't bring my laptop to my mom's anymore, or my fairy tale book, so I can't type there. Oh, well, you'll all just have to be patient. Of course, if I get more reviews I might be willing to type another chapter during the week next week. If not, you'll just have to wait until I decide to type another chapter. Please review!


	14. The Monkey

NightIntent: This isn't really one of my better stories. It kinda bores me. Hope you like it anyway.

Disclamier: I don't own the fairy tale, only Damsels, Inc. and its employees. And Richard, can't forget him.

* * *

"So now we have to deal with idiot princesses as well as princes, huh?" Beryl asked the air around her. "Very well." She walked to the door of her office, holding the letter that had sparked her comment. Sabrina was walking in the hallway. "Perfect! Sabrina, you're going on a job. Alone, this time."

"I have to go alone, huh?" Sabrina asked. "All right. What am I supposed to do?"

Beryl grinned and said, "Come in here and I'll tell you."

* * *

"Stupid, stubborn, vain, idiotic princesses," Sabrina mumbled as she walked. "What in the world _possesses_ them to do things like this? What make them think they're so clever, so intelligent, so beautiful, that they can get away with crap like this?" She rolled her eyes as the castle came into view over the hill she was climbing.

Sabrina settled down in a nearby forest, waiting for the next idiot to try his luck with the princess's royal command. The very next day, a young man came hunting in her forest, carrying a large, unwieldy rifle. Sabrina, as Beryl had instructed, changed into a raven. She flew in front of the man, trying to make herself painfully obvious to him. He saw her, and leveled his gun at her.

"Please, sir, please don't shoot me," Sabrina begged. Luckily, ravens never show much emotion, so she didn't need to put her poor acting skills into play. "I have a family waiting for me, to bring them food. Please, if you spare me, I will help you!"

"Fine," the man grumbled, lowering his gun and walking on. Sabrina followed him. When he got to a lake, Sabrina changed into a big fish. She leaped out of the water, then, much like a dolphin, rolled onto her side and stared at the man out of her one visible eye.

When the man once again leveled his gun, Sabrina cried, "Don't shoot, don't shoot! If you let me live, I'll do something for you in return!"

The man glared, looking disgruntled at his two failed hunting attempts, but he lowered his gun anyway. Sabrina once again followed him. When he was almost at a clearing, Sabrina turned into a fox and shoved a thorn into her foot. Limping, she walked into the clearing just as the man walked in. He fired at her and missed.

"Can you take the thorn from my foot, kind sir?" Sabrina queried. When the man did so, he leveled his gun at her again, ready to take another shot at her. But Sabrina said, "If you don't shoot me, I will repay you somehow."

So the man turned and went back to the castle. Sabrina, well satisfied, turned into a cat and curled into a ball to go to sleep.

The next day, the young man came running out of the palace, straight to the forest. He called, "Raven, raven, come here!"

Sabrina obliged, changing into her raven form. "What is it you want, so early in the morning?" she demanded, as if she didn't know.

"I spared your life, now you must save mine!" the man announced, for all the world as if he was a prince.

"Hmm, now, is that so? Let me think about this for a bit," Sabrina said. She put up a great pretense of thinking very hard, rubbing her wing over her face, shifting from foot to foot, and all the while she knew exactly what she would do. Finally, after letting the man sweat for a bit, Sabrina cried, "I know! You can get into an egg from my nest!"

Sabrina flew into the forest, grabbed a broken chicken egg that she'd taken from Damsels, Inc., and put the man into it. She then sat on it.

The princess that Sabrina had been complaining about earlier walked by her magic windows. She didn't spot the man's hiding place until her eleventh window. Then she ordered the raven to be shot and the man brought to her. Sabrina flew away before the soldiers got to her, and thus escaped her death. She'd known that would happen.

The next day, the man got another chance. He ran to the lake, where Sabrina was waiting for him. He called, "Fish! Come here now!"

Sabrina, much annoyed by this command, came to the surface of the lake, glared at him as much as her fish face and eyes would let her, and demanded, "What do you want this time?"

"This time?" The man looked puzzled, but let it go quickly. He had more pressing matters to attend to. "Since I let you live, so you must help me live."

"Fine. The raven told me you might do this. You can hide inside me." So Sabrina swallowed him and swam down to the bottom of the lake.

The princess found her hiding place at the twelfth window. She ordered Sabrina to be killed once again, and the man be brought to her. Sabrina, though, spat him out and swam away, turning back into a human.

On the third day, the man came running to the forest for the last time. He arrived at the clearing, where Sabrina was waiting as a fox, and called "Fox! I need your help! You are my last resort!"

"_I'm_ a last resort?" Sabrina inquired. She let it go. "Fine. Come with me." Sabrina led the man to a small spring. She said, "Jump in here and you will turn into an animal. I will turn human, and I will show you my plan."

So they both jumped in. Sabrina turned into a human, and the man turned into a monkey. _Fitting,_ Sabrina thought. They clambered out. Sabrina grabbed the man-turned-monkey and went to town with him. She had the monkey perform random little tricks. The townspeople were delighted, and all came to watch the little animal jump about, performing its charming antics.

Finally, the princess came down from her palace to see what all the excitement was. When she saw the monkey, she wanted it. She offered Sabrina a large sum of money, and was given the monkey. Before she handed the monkey over, Sabrina whispered to him, "When she looks through the window to find you, hide under her hair."

So the princess went to her windows, and looked through them. At the eleventh window, she was getting nervous. At the twelfth window, she still could not find him. In a fit of rage, she threw the monkey to the floor and yelled, "Get out of my sight!" The monkey obliged, running to the spring.

"You are the most cunning of them all," the young man told Sabrina the fox after he'd turned back. "The raven and the fish are stupid compared to you." He ran off. Sabrina glared at his back. An hour later, she heard that the princess and the man she'd helped got married. Shaking her head and muttering about the vanity of princesses, Sabrina went back to Damsels, Inc.

* * *

At Damsels, Inc., all was chaos again. Richard was back, being chased by Guinivere and Tara, and Beryl's office was a jumble of papers again. Sabrina smiled at the comfortable familiarity of it, and went to her room to get a decent few hours of sleep. Curling up on the ground is no way for a human to sleep, even in animal form.

* * *

NightIntent: I have two questions. One, what kind of idiot would try to shoot a fish in water? Two, why do I enjoy tormenting Guinivere with Richard so much? Please review.


	15. Trouble at Damsels, Inc Part 1

NightIntent: If figured it was about time for another side story. It also helped that I wasn't in the mood for re-writing a fairy tale. So, yeah, hope you enjoy this.

Disclaimer: No disclaimer for this, it's all mine.

* * *

"What did you say?" Beryl demanded of Keira.

Keira repeated calmly, "There's a princess at the gates, asking to volunteer. She wants to help us help other people."

"Wonderful. Well, we can always use a helping hand around here. Send her up, I'll interview her."

Keira nodded and left the room. Beryl glanced around her office, then shook her head. There was no way she could neaten it up before the potential employee came up. Oh, well. If she wanted to work at Damsels, Inc, she'd have to accept that it wasn't neat. Ever. So Beryl didn't bother trying to tidy up.

A couple minutes after Keira left, a girl, no more than nineteen, waltzed into the room. Yes, _waltzed_. As if she owned the place. Beryl stared at the woman. She was pretty—no, that didn't do it justice. She was beautiful. The woman had long, wavy black hair, reaching almost down to the small of her back, piercing green eyes, and a perfect, milk-white complexion. Beryl blinked and shook her head.

"Who are you?" she asked. "Why do you want to work here?"

"My name is Sara. I'm the princess of Taron," the princess said. "I want to work here because… I need something to do during the day. Being a princess isn't a very fulfilling job, you know."

"Yes," Beryl mused. "Well, I suppose we could put you on probation. You can stay for, say, a week. If you work out, you can stay for longer. If you mess up before the week is over, you're out. If we don't like you, at the end of the week, you're out. That's the deal. Does that work for you?"

Sara smiled beautifully. "Yes, of course. Whatever you say. I promise, you'll keep me."

At that moment, Guinivere walked into the room. She stopped dead when she saw Sara. "Sara…?" she breathed. "What… what are you doing here?"

"Guinivere! How are you doing?" Sara exclaimed. "How long has it been? Two years? Three? We must catch up sometime. Of course, we'll have plenty of time, seeing as I'll be working here. I'll go get my room set up. Oh, yes, that's right. Where will I be staying?"

"This floor, five doors down. First one to the right when you come up the stairs," Beryl replied. Sara swept out of the room. Beryl turned to Guinivere. "You know Sara? From where?"

"Her family is a friend of mine," Guinivere answered. "We were never very close. I always disliked her. She was always better than me in everything, and made a show of it. My parents often compared me to her, and kept telling me to be more like her. I thought she'd never come here, seeing as it's volunteer-only, and she's a greedy bitch."

"Harsh words, don't you think?" Beryl inquired. "After all, she did say you haven't spoken for at least two years. Maybe she's changed since then."

"No. She's not one who can change."

"Well, we'll see. She's just on probation, after all. She has a week. But, please, don't let your past color your opinion of her. Try to get along."

"I make no guarantees," Guinivere stated before walking out of the room.

A few hours passed. Richard had gotten into Damsels, Inc. again. "Richard!" Guinivere yelled. "Why don't you just give up already! I told you, I'm not going to marry you!"

"And I told you," Richard retorted. "I'm not leaving until I get my fairy tale ending."

"You seriously believe in those stupid things?" Guinivere demanded, still at the top of her voice. "News flash, idiot! _They're not real!_ They're made up stories, for children. And they _don't come true_ and they never will. Get over it, and leave! I won't marry you!"

"They are real, and I will get mine!" Richard exclaimed. "Please, Guinivere, just listen to me."

"No. Now go away."

Sara walked into the room. "My, my, Guinivere, what have we here?" she queried. "A lovers' spat?"

Guinivere just glared at the other princess. Richard, however, was enchanted by her.

"My lady, a thousand pardons, but you're absolutely stunning," he said breathlessly. "Will you marry me?"

"Richard, you stupid bastard!" Guinivere yelled. "Just how fickle are you? That's the second marriage proposal you've made since you became determined to get me to love you! Are you trying to woo me or aren't you? If so, that's really _not_ how you go about it."

Sara laughed, a lovely, tinkling sound. "Why, Guinivere, is that a hint of jealousy I hear in your voice? And here you were just screaming that you wouldn't marry him. Do you change your mind that quickly?"

Guinivere glared even more. "What do you think, Sara? You've known me longer than anyone else here has. What am I like?"

Sara just smiled and walked out of the room. Richard, a sheepish, doting look on his face, followed her out like a dog following its master. Guinivere sat down, looking huffy.

That night, after everyone was sleeping, Guinivere snuck down to the kitchen. By choice, she had skipped dinner, not wanting to deal with Sara being there. Her stomach was rumbling, demanding food. So Guinivere had to sneak down to get food. She fixed herself a large sandwich and ate it quickly. Her hunger sated, Guinivere went back up to her room.

As Guinivere passed Sara's room, she heard a voice coming from it. Sara's voice, carefully muted, talking to someone. The door was slightly ajar. Guinivere pressed against the wall and peeked into the room. Sara was talking into a mirror.

Guinivere heard Sara say, "Yes, that's right. My infiltration is complete, sir. I'll start tearing this place down starting tomorrow." A pause. "No, no one suspects a thing. Guinivere is my one problem, but she's not a big one." Another pause. "Yes, that's right. It'll be shut down within the week. Don't worry, nothing will get in my way."

Guinivere gasped quietly and pressed even closer to the wall. No way was this happening. Why would someone want to shut down Damsels, Inc.? At that moment, Sara said, "Hold on, I think I hear someone in the hall." She walked out into the hall and spotted Guinivere. With a feral grin, Sara advanced on Guinivere, who couldn't seem tomove.

* * *

NightIntent: Yay, a cliffhanger! Now. I want reviews. If I don't get any, well... Let's just say I have no qualms about leaving you all here. If I get reviews, I'll post the next chapter as soon as I finish typing it. So, what do you all think Sara plans to do?


	16. Trouble at Damsels, Inc Part 2

NightIntent: Okay, a lot of personality changes in this. More in the next chapter than this one, though. Hopefully I'll finish this in the next chapter.

Disclamier: No disclaimer for this one, it's mine.

* * *

Sara advanced on Guinivere, still grinning her predator's grin. "Just how much of that did you hear, huh, honey?" she inquired dangerously. "Why don't you come into my room, and we'll discuss this further."

Guinivere's legs moved on their own. They walked straight into Sara's room. Sara herself followed. Guinivere sat down in a chair near the door. Sara perched on one of the arms.

"So, my dear, just how much of my conversation did you hear?" Sara purred. "Did you hear the part of my plan that deals with you? With your family?" Sara lifted Guinivere's face, so that Guinivere was looking straight at her. "Did you hear how I'm going to deal with your little rebellious streak?" Sara slid her hand up Guinivere's cheek, a small caress. She petted Guinivere's hair, her free hand cupping Guinivere's cheek.

Guinivere _could not_ think clearly. The hands on her face and hair kept her from thinking even more. It occurred to her that she might be under a spell of some kind, but the thought was gone almost as soon as it had formed, tossed into the jumbled mess that her brain had morphed into. She tried to focus on something, anything, but she just couldn't.

"Don't worry, I won't have to hurt you," Sara said. "Or even kill you. No, that would ruin my whole purpose here, and destroy my careful plans. You won't remember any of this tomorrow, so why not tell you my plan?" Still stroking Guinivere, Sara purred, "I'm going to rip this place apart, get everyone to turn against each other. They'll all quit, and this place will be shut down. And no one will even suspect it was my fault."

A single clear thought formed in Guinivere's sluggish mind. "Why?"

Sara laughed, the same pleasant sound from earlier that day. "Why? Because your parents want you back home. They want you to marry someone, and they can't even propose that idea to you with you here, away from them. So they hired me. Yes, I'll do almost anything for money. After all, I'm only a youngest daughter. I haven't got much of a dowry, which leaves with very few prospects for marriage. Believe me, my dear, good looks aren't everything in this world. If they were, I wouldn't have to stoop to this. Alas, I do. And there is _no way_ you will get in my way. Now, go to sleep."

Sara lifted Guinivere's head once again, so that Guinivere was looking into her eyes. She stroked the side of Guinivere's face. "Sleep. Sleep, and forget everything you heard tonight." Guinivere's eyelids flickered shut, and she fell asleep.

* * *

Guinivere woke up with a major headache. She sat up slowly, rubbing her head. "Oooh, it hurts," she groaned. "What did I do last night that made my head hurt?"

Sara walked into the room. Without walking. "How are you feeling, dear?" she inquired sweetly. "Not too bad, I hope. After all, you were out and about for _such_ a long time last night."

Guinivere blinked. Then she retorted, "Didn't your mother ever teach you to knock?"

"Nope," Sara said. "I'm a princess, my mother drilled it into me that no room was off-limits to me, unless the door was locked. And your door wasn't locked. Why, did your mom teach you that?"

"Of course," Guinivere retorted. "My family actually has decent manners. Unlike yours, obviously. Now, would you please get out of my room?"

"Fine, fine. Oh, I thought you might like to know. Richard got inside again. Why don't you go see what he wants?" Sara grinned, an evil glint in her eyes. Guinivere didn't notice.

"Yeah, yeah, in a minute," she muttered. "I need to get dressed, don't I? Don't want that idiot to see me in my nightgown." When Guinivere looked up, she realized she was talking to herself. Sara had already left. "Great. As if I didn't seem crazy before."

Guinivere finished getting dressed and walked into the hall. Tara was walking by, looking absent-minded. "Tara!" Guinivere yelled. "Hey, do you know what's going on?"

"Going on? Going on how?" Tara asked.

"Never mind. I heard Richard got in again," Guinivere remarked. "Do you know what he wants this time?"

Tara grinned. "Sure do. He's after Sara, trying to get her to marry him. And it looks like she's warming up to him, too."

Guinivere glowered at Tara. "That's wonderful for him," she muttered. To herself, she murmured, "I think it's time to find Enya."

Guinivere ran down the hall. She nearly rammed into Deidra on the way down the stairs. "Sorry," she shouted over her shoulder, still running. "Have you seen Enya?"

"Yeah, try the kitchen," Deidra called back.

"Thanks!" Guinivere careened around the corner at the bottom of the stairs. And ran straight into Richard. "What are you doing standing there, you idiot! Don't you know that people walk here!" She glared at him, then said, "Forget it. I need to find Enya."

"I'm right here," Enya said, sticking her head into the room. "What do you need?"

Guinivere's face lit up with a grin. "Come with me," she said in a conspiratorially low voice. "We need to plan."

Enya grinned in return. She followed Guinivere as she ran toward the front door. Guinivere went straight to the big willow outside the house. The two girls sat on the bench underneath the tree.

"I grew up with Sara," Guinivere explained. "She was always a little brat, and always needed to be better than I was. Problem was, she was better than I was. We were, supposedly, friends, according to our parents. But I never really liked her, mostly because I was always compared to her by my parents. And everyone else. And I don't think she liked me much. But, you know, diplomatic families and all that crap. We had to pretend to like each other."

"I can't imagine you pretending to like anyone," Enya murmured. "Though that might be why you're such an actress now."

Guinivere smiled at her friend. "Anyway, a couple years ago, we… separated with bad feelings toward each other."

"Oh, I want an explanation of _that_," Enya commented. "Sounds fun."

Guinivere's smile widened. "Yeah. Well, we got into this silent feud. It started when she ruined a perfectly good horse. My parents' horse, by the way. He was too high-strung for her, but she wouldn't listen to anyone. He had to be killed. And he was my favorite horse in my parent's stable. And she ran him into the ground, whipped him until he bled, and plain ruined him for anyone to ride ever again. I will never forgive her for that."

"Maybe I don't want to hear this," Enya muttered to herself. Guinivere didn't hear.

"After the horse was killed, I confronted Sara, called her all sorts of awful things. My parents heard, and they punished me. Sara's parents took her back to their own castle. We haven't been on good terms since," Guinivere said. "And her coming here can't mean anything good. So. We have to get rid of her."

Enya grinned again. "My specialty. How should we do this? A rat in her bed? Oh, I know! A frog in her food! Bet that'll strike a chord for Richard, at the very least."

"I was thinking something a bit more… complicated," Guinivere said. "Like a fake letter about trouble somewhere, that can be only be solved by a princess. And I'll suddenly come down with an illness that keeps me from leaving the house. But… what to send her on?"

"Something that'll scare her from staying here, that's for sure," Enya said. "Hmmm. She's the girly type, right? How about another frog thing?"

"No, something original," Guinivere said. "What about a nice trek through a leech-infested swamp to an empty castle. Which isn't exactly empty, seeing as it has a dragon guarding it. Then she somehow gets past the dragon, and finds…. I'm stuck there."

"Hmm. She finds a dog, who talks to her and tells her that it's a prince, under a spell. To break the spell, she has to find the witch who did that to the dog, and then kill the witch," Enya suggested. "Since there's no actual spell, she'll be searching forever. Or until she decides to give up. Or she can come back, saying she failed, and we can all laugh at her behind her back. No one's ever failed a mission before, not since Damsels, Inc. was founded."

Guinivere laughed. "Perfect! But how can we get the dog to talk?"

"I think we need a witch on our side," Enya said. "Tara, maybe. She'd probably want to help. Let's go ask."

"All right," Guinivere agreed. "Let's go find her." The girls ran off to look for Tara.

Enya spotted Tara first. Tara was walking to the kitchen to get a mid-morning snack. Guinivere called, "Tara! Come here, we've got a proposition for you!"

Tara stared at he two girls running at her, suspicion evident in her gaze. "What?" she asked, her voice hostile.

Guinivere and Enya both drew back. Enya whispered to Guinivere, "What's wrong with her? She was fine earlier."

"I don't know," Guinivere whispered back. Raising her voice, Guinivere asked Tara, "Have you been talking to Sara lately?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" Tara shot back. "I want to get to know her better. You obviously don't. You've been avoiding all of us ever since Sara got here. I think you're jealous of her. After all, she's prettier, smarter, and all around better than you. You really should try to be like her. Just like her." On the last sentence, Tara's voice took on a strange, dreamy quality, very unlike how she normally was.

Guinivere and Enya stared at each other in shock. What was Sara doing?

* * *

NightIntent: I can't seem to finish this story. At all. And I have no clue how this is going to end. And I'm not going through with their little plan, because it's too complicated. Aerinha, using Richard is a good idea. I think I'll do that...


	17. Trouble at Damsels, Inc Part 3

NightIntent: I finished it! So it's got a random resolution. What's your point? I hope you like it anyway.

Disclaimer: Don't need a disclaimer for this one.

* * *

Guinivere and Enya backed slowly away from Tara, who was staring into space and murmuring, "Just like her…."

The two girls walked out of the room, whispering to each other about how weird Tara was acting. Enya suggested trying to talk to Deidra instead. So they went to find her. They found her in her room, staring at herself in the mirror. She was fussing with her hair, holding up a dress over her body, and trying to find wrinkles on her face, all at the same time.

Enya and Guinivere stopped dead in their tracks. "She's acting weird, too," Guinivere whispered. "What's Sara doing to everyone? How can she get them to act like this?"

"I… I don't know," Enya replied. "L-let's try to find someone else. Maybe Caitlin's all right."

"Yeah, let's try to find her," Guinivere agreed.

Caitlin was in the herb garden, taking care of the herbs that were used in the kitchen and certain spells. She was acting normal, unlike Deidra and Tara. Enya and Guinivere sighed in relief. They walked up to her. She glanced at them as they came over, then bent back to her work.

When Caitlin finished tending to the plant she had been working on, she stood up and addressed the two girls. "Do you two need something? I'm in the middle of gardening, if you didn't notice."

"Umm, yeah," Enya said. "Guinivere, why don't you tell her?"

"Uh. About that," Guinivere said. "Let's change our plan. We need to go plan again, I guess. Sorry to bug you, Caitlin."

"What was that?" Enya hissed. She glanced over her shoulder, and saw that Caitlin had resumed her work in the garden.

"It's just… I got a bad feeling," Guinivere replied. "She was acting fine, but… it didn't feel right. Let's go see if anyone else is acting weird."

"All right," Enya said. The two went back into the house, to look for everyone else. In the living room, they found Beryl, Deidra, and Sabrina laughing about something. Enya greeted them, "Hey, guys. What's going on? Is something funny?"

The three women stopped laughing. "Yeah," Deidra said. "You are." They glared at Guinivere and Enya. The two girls retreated slowly, cowed by the stares.

Once they were out of sight, Guinivere murmured, "Well, that was unpleasant."

"You're telling me," Enya said. "I didn't know Sabrina _could_ glare. Or Deidra, for that matter."

"Yeah. Let's find Keira. Or Dawn," Guinivere suggested. Enya nodded.

Keira and Dawn were sitting with Sara in Dawn's room. They seemed to be discussing something. Guinivere motioned Enya to silence, and hid in the hallway.

Keira was saying, "How are we going to get those two, though? They seem to be staying together, and away from you, Sara."

Though Guinivere couldn't see, Sara smiled maliciously. "Trust me, we'll get them. Guinivere's parents want her home. And we have to oblige them, don't we? After all, they're the king and queen of Milagro. What they want, they get. And they just happen to be paying me a lot of money to do this."

Guinivere twitched slightly. She grabbed Enya's wrist and ran down the hall with her. She didn't stop running until she'd run down the stairs, down the hall, and through the door. Guinivere stopped at the bench under the willow tree. Panting, Guinivere sat down. Enya sat next to her.

"They were talking about us," Guinivere said when she'd caught her breath.

"Well, seeing as we're the only ones who aren't under Sara's influence, I'd say so," Enya replied.

"We have to figure out a way to get them back to normal," Guinivere stated.

"How?"

"That's the problem. I don't know."

"Great," Enya said.

The girls heard someone yelling. "Guinivere! Guiniveeeeeeeerrrree! Where are you?"

"Just what we need," Guinivere muttered. "Richard." She paused, then sat bolt upright, her eyes lighting up. "Wait! Maybe we can use him in a plan! Yes! That might work!"

"What might?" Enya asked.

"I'll tell you when Richard gets here." Guinivere stood up and called, "Richard!" When she saw him looking, she waved to him. He walked over.

"There you are!" Richard exclaimed, grinning like he usually did. "I've been looking for you."

"Yeah, she couldn't tell that," Enya told him sarcastically. "Guinivere, tell us your plan already."

"Okay, okay," Guinivere said. "You know that…." Guinivere outlined her plan to them, telling both of them what they would do, and what she would do.

When Guinivere had finished, Richard looked puzzled. "So… I have to chase _her_ around? Why not you?"

"Because I'll be doing something else," Guinivere explained patiently. "I told you this. Now, you two go and get what I told you. Enya, make sure you're in the front hall in ten minutes. I should have gotten everyone gathered there by then."

"Right," Enya said. She grabbed Richard's arm and dragged him off toward the other side of the house. He tried to get free of her, but she wouldn't let him go.

Guinivere smiled and went into Damsels, Inc. She popped her head into every room. When she saw someone in the room, she said, "We're having a meeting in the front hall in five minutes." Finally, she'd told everyone, including Sara. She went to the front hall. Everyone was standing there, waiting for her and talking. Guinivere walked to a place near the front door, and addressed everyone.

"I think we need to get rid of Sara! She's changed all of you!" Guinivere called out. Everyone's attention went to her. "She's making everyone act weird, and she'd turned you all into cruel, mean people."

"You know what I think?" Tara asked. "I think you're just jealous of her. After all she's prettier than you, better than you, and you're prejudiced against her."

"How do you know that, Tara?" Guinivere inquired. "I never told you about how I know Sara. What did Sara tell you about me and her?"

"Nothing," Tara said quickly. "Absolutely nothing."

"So how do you know what happened between me and her?" Guinivere queried.

"I don't," Tara reiterated. "I just guessed. I guessed right, didn't I?"

Guinivere smiled. "Perhaps. Of course, your views right now are colored. Thanks, I'm sure, to the spell that Sara has on you all."

"Spell?" Deidra exclaimed. "I'd know if I was under a spell, and I'm not!"

"Would you?" Guinivere asked. "Would you really? Even the most powerful sorcerer can fall to this spell, and not know what happened to him. What makes you so certain that you'd be able to recognize it?"

"I-I-I," Deidra stammered.

Beryl protested, "But I'm immune to spells. It's been proven. All the spells anyone's ever cast on me haven't work."

"But this isn't an ordinary spell," Guinivere replied. "Sara gave someone a lot of money to make it up for her. Isn't that right, Sara?"

"Of course not! I'm no witch!" Sara said. "I don't know how to use a spell."

"Maybe, maybe not," Guinivere remarked. "Shall we test that theory?"

"Sure, why not?" Sara responded.

Guinivere smiled and giggled slightly. "Yes, let's." Her face looked positively smug.

At that moment, Enya ran into the room. Richard followed her, carrying a big container filled with water. The water splashed out as he ran, falling on all the people in the room. Everyone except Sara fell to the ground, unconscious, as soon as the water touched them.

"Wha-what just happened?" Sara demanded. "What did you do!"

Guinivere smiled again. She was completely dry. "Nothing worse than you did. They're just knocked out, it's nothing big. They'll wake up in an hour or so, remembering nothing that happened today, acting just as they always do. Do you know what this means? You lose."

"B-but… I don't understand. The person I got the herbs from said that he's never told anyone else about it!" Sara exclaimed.

"He lied," Guinivere said. "He told me about it long before you. You see, he's my friend. It took me a long time to figure out what exactly you'd done to everyone, but I got it eventually. And I remembered that water reacted strongly with the ones who were affected by the herb, making them pass out. So I planned accordingly." Guinivere's face and voice hardened. "Get out of here before everyone wakes up, or else."

"Or else what?" Sara asked cruelly. "You'll tell your daddy on me?"

Guinivere grinned. "I was hoping you'd ask. If you really must know…. I'll use your own weapon on you. Make you act how I want you to act. Until the next time you take a bath, at the very least. How would you like that?"

Sara glared at Guinivere. "Fine," she conceded. "I'll leave." She flounced out of the room, walking toward the stairs.

"Guinivere," Richard said. "How _did_ you figure it out?"

She laughed. "I didn't. It was a bluff."

"_What!_" Enya exclaimed. "How could you do that? What would have happened if you'd been wrong?"

"But I wasn't, was I? And if I was… well, let's not think about that. It didn't happen, so let's just focus on the fact that we won. She's leaving, that's all that matters."

"I guess," Enya conceded doubtfully. "What if she comes back?"

"We'll be ready for her," Guinivere reassured her. "Let's not tell them about this, all right? It's not exactly the best story ever. And I don't want them to know I risked everything like that."

"Aww, is Guinivere scared everyone'll hate her?" Enya teased. "All right, I won't tell them."

"Thank you," Guinivere said. She turned to Richard, who had been standing there quietly the whole time, and told him, "Time for you to leave. You can come back to annoy us later. When everyone's awake. Bye bye!"

"Fine," Richard muttered, leaving. "I'll be back in an hour, though."

"That's nice," Guinivere said sweetly. "See you then."

Richard left. A little less than an hour later, everyone who had fallen under Sara's control woke up in their own beds, their heads aching slightly, but none the worse for wear. They didn't know how they'd gotten to their beds, but that wasn't their worst problem. They didn't remember anything that had happened that day.

None of them had enough time to worry about their memories, because Richard was back inside again, messing up the entire house. Everyone chased after him. Guinivere sat on the couch, smiling, glad that everything was finally back to normal.

* * *

NigthIntent: Weird way to end it, isn't it? But I had this scene in my head of Richard pouring water over everyone, and then they all passed out. So I had to do it. Anyways, next is Mother Carey. Please review. 


	18. Mother Carey

NightIntent: My version of Mother Carey. Or Mother Caitlin, if you prefer, seeing as that's the main characetr in this one. Hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own the fairy tale.

* * *

"A girl needs help?" Beryl asked the air around her. "What else is new? They all need help." She rang the bell. Someone stuck her head in. "Get me Caitlin, please?" 

The assistant nodded and shut the door. A minute later, Caitlin walked in. "You wanted something?"

"Yeah. I have a job for you," Beryl told the older woman. "A girl needs help."

"That's new?" Caitlin asked, raising her eyebrows slightly.

"The girl is. She wants help to get away from her family," Beryl said. "We may as well help. I'm sending you. You can do whatever you want to do, but make sure the girl doesn't send me another letter. Please. We get enough annoying letters as is. So, go on. It's here." Beryl pointed at the map behind her. "Have a nice time!" she said in a falsely cheerful voice.

Caitlin shook her head and smiled a bit. She walked out of the office, already thinking.

* * *

Caitlin arrived at the place Beryl had told her to go before the sun was even up. She'd been walking for a few days, but she wasn't very tired. While she'd been walking, she'd come up with a plan to help the girl. And Caitlin really liked her plan. Whenever Caitlin had stopped to rest on her walk, she had written out what she was going to do, and then started spells for each part of it. By the time she'd reached the girl's house, Caitlin was ready to put it into action.

Of course, the plan was dependent on a few things. But they were common thins, and should be easily obtained or found. Caitlin walked around for a bit, getting familiar with the area and looking for the things she needed. She was able to grab a few things, like an apple, a few grains of wheat, a stone, a few pieces of cut wood, some feathers, and a few small pieces of cloth. When she had gathered all these, she went to find a well.

There was a well right outside the house where the girl lived. Caitlin bent over the well and muttered a quick spell. When she'd finished, Caitlin jumped into the well. She was transported to a large, green, empty field. She looked around and smiled, well satisfied. She quickly started to set up.

First, Caitlin put down the stone. A few more muttered words, different from those that had been muttered over the well, and the stone turned into an oven. She slipped the wheat inside the oven and said a few more words. The wheat changed into bread. Caitlin nodded, well pleased with it. If one didn't look closely, it looked real. She said a few more strange words, and walked on.

When she could hardly see the oven, Caitlin stopped once more and put the apple down. She murmured another spell, and the apple turned into a tree laden with fruit. A spell exactly like the last one she'd muttered over the bread finished off this portion of her work.

The tree was tiny when Caitlin stopped for the last time. She put the wood down and, with another spell, tuned it into a house. She went inside and changed the cloth and feathers into a bed and pillows. Caitlin looked around at her handiwork and nodded. "My own world. Such a pity it'll only last for a week or so." Caitlin sat down to wait.

While she was setting up her little world, the house near the well had been waking up as the sun rose. The girl that Caitlin had come to save, Sally, had been working for nearly an hour. She was spinning. By the time the sun rose, her fingers were soaked in blood. After an hour and a half more, the spindle was also soaked. She took it out to the well to wash it, but accidentally dropped it.

Sally went back to her stepmother and said, "I'm sorry, but I dropped the spindle down the well."

"So go get it, you stupid child!" the stepmother exclaimed. "And don't come back until you've gotten it."

Sally sighed and walked back to the well. She didn't know what to do. Finally, desperate, she jumped into the well. The world around her went black for a minute. When it cleared, she was in Caitlin's little world. She looked around. In the distance, Sally saw the oven. She walked to it. The bread in the oven called, "Take me out of here, I'm baked, I'm baked, I can't stand it anymore!"

Reacting quickly, Sally grabbed the bread shovel and took all the bread out. Then she walked in the direction of a tree. When she reached it, the tree called out, "Shake me, my fruit is ripe, I can't stand it any longer!" So Sally shook the tree until not a single apple was left. She gathered them all into a pile and walked on, heading toward the house.

Sally reached the house. When she was about ten feet from it, Caitlin came out. Her appearance was changed, so that she looked rather scary. Sally squeaked and looked around for somewhere to hide. "Why are you afraid?" Caitlin called. "I'll do you no harm. Stay with me, and if you do all the housework properly, I'll reward you well. Just make my bed and shake the pillows well enough that feathers fly around the room."

Sally looked at Caitlin, thinking. Then she nodded and walked into the house. She did exactly what Caitlin told her to do, shaking the pillows so hard that the feathers flew everywhere. For a day or so, she was fine. Then she started to feel sad. She soon realized she was homesick.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm homesick. Could I please go home?" Sally asked.

"Yes, yes, of course," Caitlin said. "Go on, go on, you're not a prisoner here. Since you have been such a good girl, and followed my instructions well, I will reward you." She led Sally to a gate. A shower of gold fell on her and stuck to the girl. Then Caitlin handed her the spool. She pushed Sally through the gate.

Sally landed on the dirt, a few yards from the well. She walked into the house and was greeted kindly by her stepmother and stepsister. She told the all that had happened to her, and the stepmother wanted the same thing for her own daughter. She forced the girl, Lain, to spin by the well until the spindle was soaked in blood. Then the girl dropped it into the well and jumped in.

Lain was in the same place where Sally had been before. She walked toward the oven. When she reached it, the bread called out to her, "Help, help, we're cooked and don't want to burn, please take us out!"

Looking at the oven and bread with scorn, Lain said, "As if I want to get tired just for your sake!" She walked on.

When she reached the tree, it too called out to her. "Please shake me, my fruit is ripe, and I can't stand it anymore!"

But Lain said, "What a dumb idea! One might drop on me!" When the girl reached Caitlin's home, she wasn't afraid of her changed appearance. She let herself be hired at once. She stayed for half a day, doing nothing that Caitlin told her. Then Lain said, "I want to go home. May I?"

"Yes, of course. You're not a prisoner here," Caitlin replied. "For your work, I will repay you." Caitlin took the girl to the same gate as before. Instead of gold falling, pitch fell. "This is your reward. The pitch will not come off for your whole life." Caitlin pushed the girl through the gate. At that instant, her little world dissolved and she was back by the well, looking normal. She smiled and went back to Damsels, Inc.

* * *

NightIntent: Yes, abrupt ending. But I wanted to finish it before it got to the next page. The names suck, don't they? It's what I get for coming up with them off the top of my head. Oh, well. Please review!  I want reviews.  Else I won't post the funny new side stories. 


	19. Proper Endings

NightIntent: This chapter was written by my friend. She was wondering what it'd be like if there was a rival company that Damsels, Inc. was getting in the way of. Or something.

Disclaimer: My friend owns everything in this story.

* * *

Jenna Royales had come from far away... Not of the land of humans, she found the _amazing_. She had been jilted by her own family and almost killed for being a half-blood. When she first arrived she had to learn to look like a human, speak like a human and all that jazz. She quickly took to reading, and found herself enchanted by fairy tale endings. With the wealth she had brought from her own home (silver, gold, gems, and oddly pressed paper was oddly valuable to humans), she set about creating a corporation. She was discreet and thoughtful and finally named it "Proper Endings," a corporation for dreamers.

Proper Endings had been in business for a while and all was rather well when Jenna had picked choice humans to help her organize things. She had even managed to locate two of her remote cousins, Roxy and Angelina, who were more than happy to help out. Roxy didn't exactly fit in, since she couldn't hide her ears or tail, no matter how hard she tried. Angelina was extremely bright and rather well versed in dealing with humans, vampires, shifters, witches, and animals. (Of course, all the Royales girls dealt with shifters and animals well due to their lineage.)

There was only one problem.

Damsels, Inc.

Jenna considered that nosy bunch of females a _complete_ thorn in her side. They ruined _all_ the good endings and had broken apart some wonderful set-ups that Proper Endings had gone through making.

Roxy was rather upset with Damsels, Inc. When they put a halt on their Rumpelstiltskin project to bring babies from greedy, undeserving couples that could have more children to sweet, kind people who couldn't have children and wanted them terribly.

Even Jenna, who was rather even-tempered, found herself with slightly rose-colored eyes (a sign of anger in her breed) when her friend, poor, dear, Richard, had been cruelly rejected by one of those Damsels, Inc. Girls. She couldn't go around kissing princes and rejecting them.

Roxy leaned against the counter and sighed. "I think they're a bunch of harlots. They toy with people's emotions."

Angelina slowly shifted and wrapped her tail her waist. She gazed at her sister with deep amber colored eyes. "Jenna, you must go have a ... chat with this Beryl woman!"

Jenna frowned as she regarded her cousins. "I know they seem meddlesome, but we mustn't resort to violence. Nothing will be solved that way."

Roxy snorted. "Want to bet?"

"Roxy, please calm yourself. Their transgressions have been minor. Perhaps they don't understand what they're doing?"

Roxy glared. "A bunch of wolf-killing, rejecting, family-destroying harlots..." she muttered.

"You know, Jenna, Roxy has a point, they _are_ a tad destructive. They hurt poor Richard's feelings, as well. Remember the Princess Raven, who as supposed to be rescued by that dreamy, handsome, rich, lonely king?" Jenna gave a nod and rolled her eyes at her cousin's dreamy sigh. As much as the girls would have liked to settle down, the laws of their breed strictly forbade mixing their blood any further on pain of death. They all knew their family was perfectly capable of hunting them down and killing them. Angelina abruptly lost the dreamy look and glared. "Well, one went in– dressed as a man, no less!– and tricked all those nice, careful spells made for the king. _And_ she tricked three nice people, too!"

Jenna had to face the facts. She would have to go have a talk with this Beryl person or her beautiful, perfect company just wouldn't do. Proper Endings believed in _proper_ endings, where the homely, sweet girls were whisked away by charming, intelligent princes. Where lovely princesses had to suffer a few spells before getting a prince. Where families were united and love conquered all. Well, it seemed to the girls that Damsels, Inc. Was in it to spoil all the proper endings!

* * *

NightIntent: This leads up to the next chapter. Which is rather interesting. And long. But it was fun to write. It's splicing together my writing and my friend's. Please review! 


	20. Proper Endings vs Damsels, Inc

NightIntent: The whole reason for the last chapter. I did this with my friend. I'm the Damsels, Inc. characters, she's the characters from Proper Endings. Hope you like it! Oh, and by the way, tessagrl, would you mind telling which names are hard to pronounce? Because I don't find any of them difficult.

Disclaimer: I own Damsels, Inc. and the characters, my friend owns Proper Endings and the characters.

* * *

It was a normal day at Proper Endings Co. The sun was shining and there was a batch of princes going through charm school, indeed all looked bright, but within trouble stirred.

Roxy glared and stormed in with a soft growl. "Jenna we_have_ to talk with these Damsel Inc people...I just found out they ruined things for those 12 dancing princesses...the ones we had all set up to have the deluxe dozen wedding!"

Jenna sighed and stood. "You're right...Angelina please come in..." Roxy grabbed her cloak and pulled it on hiding her ears and tail. Her sisters both shifted as they headed off to Damsels, Inc.

The three suddenly appeared at the door. Jenna took a deep breath. "There...now..." She knocked firmly.

Guinivere ran to answer the door. She threw it open, exclaiming, "Hello! How are you doing?"

Jenna crossed her arms and sniffed slightly then frowned. "You are Guinivere I presume...Richards told me all about _you_...if you would please escort us to your head...Beryl?"

Guinivere smiled. "You know Richard? How nice for us all. Please come this way." She led the three women to Beryl's office. Knocking on the door, Guinivere called, "Beryl, there are three women here who want to see you."

Beryl opened the door. "Yes?" she asked. "How can I help you?"

Jenna frowned and stood tall. "Miss Beryl we have a _serious_ problem...I am Jenna Royales head of Proper Endings Co.

"What's the problem?" Beryl asked.

Angelina frowned. "Your _ruining_ things!"

"What are we ruining?"

Jenna cleared her throat. "What my cousin means is that your operation tend to...err undo careful planning that satisfies our patrons..."

Roxy snarled. "Your destroying the happiness of others!"

Jenna glanced at Roxy to silence her.

"What _are _you talking about?" Beryl inquired, more than slightly puzzled by these women. "We're just helping people. Obviously they want to be helped, or we wouldn't get the letters. How does that ruin happiness?"

Jenna frowned. "Yes they want help but not _your_ help...everything is set up so they can have their proper ending" Angelina proceeded to explain the problems...rescuing the Princesses and Hurting Richards feelings etc.

Guinivere interrupted, "Oh, Richard's fine! Why does he care?"

Jenna glared. "Listen here missy you cant go around toying with peoples emotions! You had better marry him or I...Well you had better give him a chance...the poor thing was crushed!"

"He's crushed?" Guinivere said, disbelief obvious in her voice. "I'm sorry, but I just can't believe that. He's not smart enough to know how. Unless, of course, you told him to be."

Before anyone could respond to this, Keira walked into the room. She stopped dead when she saw the strange women. "What's going on here?" she queried.

Jenna let out a growl her eyes going red. "You had better take that back!" Roxy sniffed and looked over. "_You_?"

"Huh?" Keira exclaimed. "Do I know you?"

Roxy snarled and stepped forward. Angelina grabbed her tail. "Roxy please!"

"Um, Beryl?" Keira asked. "Who exactly are these people? And why does that one seem to hate me, without ever having met me?"

Roxy glared. "You _killed_ my friend!"

"Who did I kill?" Keira asked, startled.

Jenna snarled and turned away from Guinivere. "Indeed...another problem...you killed Roxy's friend the hungry wolf."

"The hungry... Oh, you mean the one that ate the grandmother and her granddaughter? I had to. He was a menace," Keira explained. "What did you want me to do, let him roam around and kill more humans?"

Roxy glared. "They weren't _dead_ they were just a bit confined...it would have...err passed."

"He tried to eat me, too!" Keira exclaimed. "We can't have that happening."

Roxy glared. "There are more humane ways... I don't suppose you tried _talking_ to him!"

"It's a bit hard to talk when you're inside someone's stomach," Keira said. "Or didn't you know that?" Her voice practically dripped with sarcasm.

Roxy glared her cloak slid down and she hastily pulled it back up to hide her ears. "I doubt my friend would swallow you without saying a word."

"Wolves can't talk, anyway," Keira said. "What would he have said to me? 'Oh, I'm sorry, but I need to eat you now. Nothing personal, I'm just hungry. Even after eating these two other humans.'? Hmm?" Keira was getting annoyed by the women.

Roxy looked shocked. "Well maybe if you had been civil he would ahve been too! Either way you _ripped_ him to bits there are more humane ways..."

"He was sitting in the bed with two humans in his stomach, alive!" Keira half-yelled.

Beryl broke in. "Keira, that's enough."

Roxy nodded. "exactly alive...and my hearing is fine no need to yell..."

Jenna frowned. "You can see Roxy had a dear friend in that wolf...and there are other cases why just recently you ruined the plans for our Delightful Dozen Daughter Wedding!"

Beryl repeated, "Enough. Just drop it. What do you propose we do about this? Are we supposed to stop doing what we do, just because you said so?"

Jenna smiled. "That would be fabulous darling... Thank you."

"That was hardly recent," Guinivere said airily, brushing her hair with her fingers. "Get over it."

Angelina smiled. "Wonderfully reasonable of you."

"I was being sarcastic," Beryl said.

Angelina turned to Guinivere. "Spoiled little princess...locked in a tower a few hundred years and we'll see how uppity _you_ are."

Jenna frowned. "Sarcasm is rather rude the situation is hardly one to be made light of... Just recently you ruined the perfect union between a King and a princess."

"If it was so perfect, then why did the princess want help so badly?" Guinivere demanded.

Jenna smiled. "She was unaware that her King was on the way...you see it ruins the moment when everyone's in on the plans."

"Is that so? Then why not simplify everything?" Guinivere asked. "Just set them up. You can become a matchmaking business instead. Much simpler, and we won't have to get in your way."

Jenna's eyes widened. "Goodness no...that's so...ugh a matchmaking service? We aren't cheap dates and all that we are highly professional...I do believe you should close your doors after all you cause a bit of trouble and hostility...in fact word has it that Guinivere's parents want her back...she was _supposed_ to marry Richard."

"Leave my parents out of this!" Guinivere exclaimed. "And what about your parents? Do they know that you're putting people into dangerous situations, just trying to re-create fairy tales?"

Jenna glared. "_My_ parents are dead..." Roxy crossed her arms looking sullen Angelina glanced at her sister and placed an arm around her shoulders comfortingly.

"Suck it up," Guinivere said. "We-"

"That's enough out of you, too, Guinivere," Beryl said. "Do me a favor and go get Caitlin and Tara, please. Actually, just gather everyone." With a last sullen glance at the three women, Guinivere allowed herself to be led out of the room by Keira.

Jenna glared at Guinivere. "I wasn't complaining, just informing..." She glanced at Beryl "You surely see where the problem lays..." She smiled. "I'm sure we can work it out."

"Can we? I don't think so," Beryl said. "Or not unless one of us closes down. And I'm certainly not doing that, thank you very much. I went through a lot to build this place up to what it is."

Jenna smiled. "Yes well Proper Endings Co. was no small task...and we don't break families apart, leave people alone without plan, seduce poor princes falsely..."

"When have we broken a family apart? And have you saved a person from a vampire before?" Beryl asked. The three women were starting to grate on her nerves, too, something which wasn't an easy task.

Angelina looked up and bared her fangs as her eyes flashed red. "Hey we have to eat too!"

"Do you have to trick people to do it?" Keira asked, walking back into the room again. All the other Damsels, Inc. volunteers followed her.

Angelina glared. "Well, sorry but no one walks around asking us to drain their blood..."

Jenna cleared her throat. "First we should set things right..." She waved her hand for Richard to appear.

"Get him out of here," Beryl said. "He's been banned from this office."

Jenna glared. "I think not...Richard has been deeply hurt."

Jenna frowned. "Your stolen princess lured his defenses, tricking him and finally leaving him broken hearted."

Beryl said, "You weren't here to see what he did to the room last time."

"Yeah!" Guinivere pitched in. "He made a complete mess of the place!"

Jenna frowned. "Obviously he's traumatized...he's been jilted after _she_ led him on."

Roxy gave a firm nod quickly pulling her cloak back up as her ears were exposed.

"Oh, yes he's so traumatized," Guinivere said sarcastically. "So much so that he came in to make a mess of the place!"

Jenna put a reassuring hand on Richards shoulder. "You didn't mean to did you dear? Maybe you and Guinivere should stop this lovers spat and go home where you belong together..."

"_Lovers' spat!_" Guinivere demanded. "What dimension do you come from? We're not in love! Why doesn't he go marry that bitch Sara? He sure seemed to like her."

Jenna glared. "You shouldn't have tried to seduce him then!"

"I didn't! He tried to seduce me!" Guinivere yelled. "And let me tell you, he does a very bad job of it."

Jenna gently hugged Richard. "Well it's _your_ fault he was supposed to be a frog until a _proper_ princess came along..."

"And I suppose it's my fault, too, that the people at the palace were scared by a talking frog? You know, he seemed much smarter then."

Angelina huffed. "Richard can be very clever when he isn't being emotionally battered.."

"You know, he doesn't look very emotionally battered to me," Enya commented, joining the conversation.

Angelina hissed. "Aren't you one of the trouble making ones...yes?"

"Me? What did I do?" Enya inquired, widening her eyes in false innocence.

Jenna held a hand up. "That's enough...it's obvious that you've all been destroying our careful set ups maybe it wasn't intended...we must bring this to a stop."

"How are we going to stop it, then?" Caitlin asked.

Jenna thought for a moment. "Well, the thing seems to be that you're working for one set and we're working for the other."

"Yes, it seems that way," Beryl said. "So what do we do about it?"

Angelina glanced up. "You can all come work for us."

"No thanks, I'll pass," Guinivere said instantly.

"Any other options?" Enya queried.

Jenna frowned. "You should go home young lady your parents obviously don't agree with you being out here,...and without an escort no wonder you find yourself in improper situations"

Angelina glanced at Enya. "Well...we _could_ divide some work.

"Divide work _how_?" Enya asked suspiciously.

"I thought I told you not to bring my parents into this!" Guinivere protested.

Jenna looked up. "By helping each other of course...and as for _you_ your parents deserve to be in this after all you are their daughter."

"And how would we help each other?" Deidra questioned, deciding to chip in finally. Next to her, Sabrina watched everything that was going on calmly, observing.

"My parents aren't here, and they're going to stay that way!" Guinivere said. "And you don't need to mention them every five seconds!"

Jenna glanced at Guinivere. "I was only responding to _your_ statement about them...you obviously have issues that need working on...as for helping we could send donations your way in exchange for not ruining the proper endings we've set up."

"How would we know which 'ending' was yours?" Sabrina asked quietly.

Jenna smiled. "We'll keep in touch..."

"Hmm," Beryl hummed, thinking. She sighed. "Very well, we'll try. But we can't refuse all the letters we're sent. Every once in a while, we'll have to ruin one of your endings. After all, life is never perfect. And endings never are, either. So, do we have a deal? We don't ruin all your plans, and you stay away from us forever, all right?"

Angelina leaned against Beryl's desk and grinned. "Not forever...but we'll make life easy..." Jenna nodded. "On _one_ condition...poor Richard...well you know."

"No way in hell!" Guinivere yelled. She ran out of the room.

Jenna sighed. "Well then don't let her be _too_ harsh with him..."

Angelina smiled. "Thank you for your time...you should really send that girl to have a chat with her parents though...Jenna is right she has issues..."

"Deal," Beryl said. Everyone else echoed her.

Caitlin said, "Don't forget to tell us what not to ruin."

Roxy smiled. "Family _is_ family...you all aren't that bad..." She nuzzled Keira "I forgive you for being a wolf killer."

Angelina and Roxy vanished.

"Who are you saying has issues?" Guinivere demanded from the hall. "And since when do you call me Guin?"

Jenna smiled and waved before vanishing as well.

"Eh-heh," Enya laughed nervously. "No one. Nothing." She whispered to Beryl, "Hey, is the window close enough to the ground to drop from?"

"Nope," Beryl said simply.

"Darn. Well, guess I'll just have to make a run for it," Enya commented. She dashed out into the hall. The sound of two people running was audible to everyone in Beryl's office.

"Get back here, you little traitor!" Guinivere yelled.

* * *

NightIntent: So it lasted a bit longer than I expected. It was fun. A lot of arguments breaking out though, huh? Please review and tell me what you thought of it! 


	21. The Peasant's Wise Daughter

NightIntent: Finally, an update! Yeah, I had really bad writer's block, for everything. Sorry 'bout that. I wonder how many people will actually read this now? I guess we'll see.

Disclaimer: I don't own the fairy tales. Only Damsels, Inc. and all its employees.

* * *

"Oh, looky here," Beryl exclaimed. "We've got an extra stupid person to take care of! Deidra! Come in here!" she yelled.

Deidra peeked her head into the office. "You yelled?" she asked.

"Yes. I've got a job for you," Beryl informed the woman. "It's about fifty miles west of here, in the city of Kamrai. Well, technically, near it. Let me explain…"

Deidra arrived at a small hut outside of the city and stared at it. "What trouble could someone who lives in a place like _this_ get into?" she asked herself. The hut, for all its small size, was absurdly neat. All the plants outside it were trimmed perfectly, and the outside of it had obviously been washed recently, and kept in continual good condition. Deidra stared at it for a few seconds longer, then walked up to it. She knocked and called, "Hello? Anybody home? My name's Deidra. I'm from Damsels, Inc. I hear you have a problem?"

The door opened and a young woman, maybe sixteen years old, stared out from it. "Um, hello," the girl said. "I'm Taila. How did you know I needed help?"

Deidra frowned. "Didn't you send a letter?"

"No. I just found out that I was to be summoned before the king today."

"Hmph. Well, that's a first," Deidra mused. She clapped her hands together. "Well, let's get down to work. Do you know what you have to do?"

"As far as I know, the king is going to ask me to solve a riddle," she replied. "But, I'm no good with riddles."

"Well, looks like we have a bit of a problem," Deidra remarked. "Here's what we'll do, then. You go to the king, get him to tell you the riddle, come back, tell me it, and I'll tell you what to do."

"Okay," Taila said. "I'll do that. I'll leave now, then." She went to the door and walked out before Deidra said another word.

"Weird girl," Deidra muttered. She sat down and waited for her to come back. After a couple of hours, Taila came back. "Well, what was the riddle?"

"I have to go to him clothed but not, not riding but not walking, not on the road and not off it," Taila replied. "And I truly have no idea what to do for it."

"Hmm, let me think about this," Deidra said. "You can go tomorrow, right?"

"Yes, that's when he will expect me," Taila said.

"Good. I'll sleep on it and tell you in the morning."

The next morning, Deidra got up and knew exactly what she would tell Taila to do. "Taila!" she called. "Get over here, please!"

Taila bustled into the hut, having been outside working. "Yes? Did you figure out what I should do for the riddle?"

"Yes, just barely. Would you mind if I cast a spell on myself to make me look like you, and I'll do it instead?" Deidra asked. "It's easier that way, I don't have to do so much explaining."

"Yes, of course, as long as the riddle gets done," Taila said. "My father needs to be freed. And I will admit that I wouldn't mind marrying the king. He's young, and handsome, and who _doesn't_ want to be queen?"

Deidra glared at her. _She's gushing_, she thought. _And she wants me to do all this, just so that she can marry a king? Damn vain idiots. Why must we get all these people coming to Damsels, Inc.?_ "I wouldn't. Too much responsibility. Anyway, I'll get going now. Do you have a fishing net and a mule, by any chance?"

Though Taila didn't have the net, Deidra was able to get it from a nearby fisherman. She cast her spell and pulled off her clothes and put on the net, so that she wasn't exactly clothed but she wasn't exactly naked. She tied the end of the fishing net to the donkey, which bounced her along, so she wasn't riding and she wasn't walking. The mule carried her along the side f the road, so she only touched the road once in a while.

She had the mule bounce her along to the king's palace. When she got there, she was led to the king, still being dragged by the mule. When she was presented before him, Deidra stood up straight, acutely aware of the fishing net as her only clothing. "Happy?" she demanded. "I solved your riddle. Now will you let my father go?"

The king, who had been staring at Deidra—still looking like Taila—snapped to attention and said, "Yes, yes, of course. I'll do you one better. I'll take you as my wife."

"That's wonderful," Deidra replied caustically. "Can I go home and actually get clothed first?"

"Sure," the king replied, going back to his staring. "Whatever you like."

"Good." Deidra turned around and marched out of the palace, right back to Taila's hut. "Happy?" she asked the girl. "You're going to marry the king. Now go marry him. And have a nice life." As she talked, Deidra had taken off the fishing net, un-cast the spell, and pulled her clothes back on. "Never bother Damsels, Inc. with your little problems again, will you?" She walked out without another word.

* * *

NightIntent: Okay, so it wasn't the best story toupdate with. Maybe the next one'll be better. Please review. 


	22. Send it Away!

NightIntent:Okay, this chapter was just for fun, it's not really serious, and it's very short.

Disclaimer: I don't own Proper Endings. My friend does.

* * *

Beryl read the letter in her hands carefully. She muttered, "Oh, look, another annoying teenage girl wanting to marry a king who doesn't actually like her, just because she wants the fame, glory, and money. What shall we do with this?" she asked the air sarcastically, carefully folding the letter back up and placing it into a new envelope. As she addressed the new envelope, she yelled out the open door to her office, "Hey, Guinivere!"

The girl poked her head into the doorway. "Yeah, Beryl?"

"You said you were bored, didn't you?" Beryl inquired.

"Always," Guinivere replied.

"Then want to do me a favor and deliver a message?"

"Sure, no problem. Where to?" Guinivere asked.

"Please deliver this to the people at Proper Endings," Beryl said with a grin.

* * *

NightIntent: My friend gave me the idea. It's all her fault. I'll write another actual chapter and post it. Soon. I hope. 


	23. Briar Rose, Version 2

NightIntent: My second version of Briar Rose. I'm re-using fairy tales, because I'm out of ones to use. Sad, isn't it? Oh, well, I'm going to start something new soon. As soon as I have a few chapters typed up.

Discalimer: I don't own the fairy tale. Or Proper Endings, for that matter.

* * *

Beryl walked into her office one morning, expecting to find it how she'd left it the night before. She'd just finished organizing it again, after that last incident with Richard and the people from Proper Endings. It had taken the better part of a fortnight, but she'd finally finished. The first thing she noticed was that there was paper all over the floor. Again. Beryl looked up, to her desk.

And screamed.

There was a bear below her desk, ripping up papers with its big bear paws and chewing up the leg of her desk. When the bear heard Beryl's scream, it looked up, wide-eyed.

"Damn it!" Beryl yelled. "Who let the bear inside!"

"Hey, Beryl, look!" Keira said, walking in and rubbing her eyes. "There's something on its neck. Looks like a collar of some sort, with a little pouch attached."

Beryl walked up to the bear. "Easy, easy," she said, nervous of it. "Let me just get this thing off of you." She unhooked the collar, which was made of gem-encrusted gold, and opened the pouch. Inside, Beryl found a piece of paper and some more jewels.

" 'To the people of Damsels, Inc.,' " Beryl read aloud. " 'Do you like our gift? We found him wandering around in the woods and decided he'd make a lovely pet for you all. Oh, and we sent some jewels along with him. The bear's name is Gray, by the way. Because he has gray paws, you know. I hope you enjoy your time with him, and please don't treat him too badly. Or else we might have to come have a discussion again.The bear's name is Gray, by the way. Because he has gray paws, you know. I hope you enjoy your time with him, and please don't treat him too badly, or else we might have to come have a 'discussion' again.Oh, and dous a favor and ask Guinivere when herwedding to Richard wil be. We'd like to be there when it finally happens.Always yours, Proper Endings.' "

"They never give up, do they?" Keira asked.

At that moment, Richard walked in. "Where's Guinivere?" he demanded. "Angelina told me she'd marry me!"

Beryl spluttered with laughter, despite the mess her office was. "She told you that?" she asked. "Then I think she lied to you. Guinivere's stubborn, she doesn't change her mind. About anything. Go find her, she's probably in her room."

Pouting, Richard walked out of the room.

"Well, he's gone. What's on the agenda today?" Keira queried.

"Right now, nothing. But we might be getting a request for help. I hope so, we need something to do," Beryl remarked. "All of us are getting antsy."

"You can say that again," Deidra said, walking into the room. "I need something to do. Badly."

"Well, I suppose we can wait a while," Beryl said.

"Maybe you can, but I can't," Deidra said. "I haven't gone on a job for such a looong time. You don't know what it's like, to be going out on jobs, and then suddenly locked in a house."

Beryl raised an eyebrow. "You're not a prisoner here, you know," she said. "You can leave any time yu want."

"But then I'd have _no_ chance at jobs, verse the slim chance I have here."

"Slim?" Beryl echoed.

Richard popped his head into the doorway again. "Oh, I almost forgot," he said, holding out a letter. "A messenger gave this to me. Well," he amended hastily, "I took it from him. But same thing, right?"

"Not exactly," Beryl said dryly, snatching the letter from him. "Now go find Guinivere, will you?" She opened the letter as Richard disappeared around the doorframe. "Hmm," she muttered. "It says there's a prince or something sleeping in a tower. Sounds familiar…. Oh, that's right. We had something like this before, but with a princess. I believe Caitlin handled that, and attempted to get rid of Richard, all in one shot. The latter part of her plan wasn't successful, obviously. Sadly, too. Oh, well. Deidra, you want to go? Since you're so bored."

"Yes!" Deidra exclaimed, grabbing the letter from Beryl. "See you later!" she called over her shoulder, running from the room.

* * *

"So this is the place, huh?" Deidra muttered a few days later. She pulled her hand through her hair. "Wonderful. Doesn't look like this'll be easy." She started through the briars in front of the castle. "Wish Sabrina was here. She could just turn into something and plow through these," Deidra mused. "Ah, well. Not such a big deal." She muttered something under her breath. The briars shrank back form her, as if scared. "Better," she smiled.

A roar sounded from inside the castle grounds. "Is it my imagination, or did that sound fake?" Deidra asked herself. She grinned. "Cheapskates couldn't even get a decent dragon, huh? So much the better. It makes it easier on me." She walked up to the castle gates, which were rusted shut. Sighing, she said something else under her breath. The gates creaked, but didn't budge. Deidra frowned and murmured something else.

The gates still didn't move. Deidra's eyebrows flew up her forehead. "Well, that's odd," she said. "Let's try something else, shall we?" She walked up to the gates and pushed them. They opened with a loud creaking noise. "And why didn't I do that in the first place?" she asked, walking through.

Deidra burst out laughing. "Oh," she said. "Oh, my. As if the rest of this place wasn't easy enough to breach." She kept laughing, until she was nearly doubled over and she had a tear in the corner of one eye. After a while, she calmed down some. Panting, she remarked. "Just that was worth the trip here." Standing in front of her was an inflatable dragon. "I knew that roar sounded fake."

Another roar sounded from it, and the wind knocked it over a bit. "They really are cheap," Deidra remarked, calmly walking past the inflatable dragon. "But I never expected an inflatable dragon. That's just too much. Now, where do I go from here?" She pulled out a map that had been included in the letter. "So, he'd be… that way." She set off in the direction the map indicated.

"A tower?" she said aloud. "You've got to be kidding me. Can you _get_ any more cliché? I don't think so. It looks big. I'd better get climbing, if I want to get back to Damsels, Inc. before this week is over." So she started up the stairs inside the tower. She climbed for nearly an hour, with a single ten minute rest stop at what she judged was the halfway mark. "And here we are. At the top."

A young man, hardly out of boyhood, lay on a bed, the only furniture in the large, empty room. "More proof of their cheapness," Deidra said. "They couldn't even get more furniture. I'd love to sit down for a while, but I guess I can't." She sighed and walked over to the bed. "This is _so_ going to make me feel like a pedophile, if I have to kiss him," she remarked, leaning down to inspect the boy. As her breath touched him, he stirred.

The boy sat up. "Good morning," he said in a oft voice. "Who are you?"

Deidra let out a sigh of relief. "I'm Deidra. And it's more like good afternoon. Now, who are you? And how old are you, exactly?"

"I'm Roan," the boy replied. "And I'm fourteen. How old are you?"

"Never ask a lady her age," Deidra said.

"There's a lady here?"

Deidra glared. "Shut up and get out of bed already," she commanded sharply. "I need to get out of this cheapskate, cliched castle that can't even keep up sleep spells. Now let's go."

"All right, all right," Roan said. "No need to be snippy."

"Get over it," Deidra said. "I want to go home. And if you even _think_ of following me there, you've got another thing coming. I don't know where your kingdom is, so I don't know where you live. So I think I'll just leave that to you to figure out, shall I?"

The boy glared at her. "Fine," he said. Lowering his voice, Roan muttered, "As if I want to follow _you_ anywhere."

"What was that?" Deidra asked sweetly.

"Nothing."

"That's what I thought." Outside the castle gates, Deidra waved to Roan. "See you later!" she said. She handed him a Damsels, Inc. business card, calling over her shoulder as she walked away, "If you or anyone else is ever in trouble, go there. Or send a letter. We'll get it, I can guarantee that. We might not do anything about it, but we'll get it." She walked away, cursing at annoying teenagers in her head.

* * *

NightIntent: Well, I thought it was funny. Personally, I like the part with the bear. And the cheapskate castle with the inflatable dragon. Please review!


	24. The Cat Prince

NightIntent: This took longer to write than I thought it would. It's almost a side story. But it's mixed with a twist of the Frog Prince. That's all Guinivere seems to be doing, doesn't it? Kissing enchanted princes. I'll have to fix that. Enjoy the story!

Disclaimer:I don't own fairy tales.

* * *

Guinivere lounged on a couch, on vacation at home. She stared out the window, wondering what her friends at Damsels, Inc. were doing without her. Probably making Richard run around insanely, looking for her. Guinivere grinned at the image. Her gaze focused on the garden outside the window again. As much as she loved her home and her family, Guinivere was bored. She needed excitement, adventure, something to _do_. At home, all Guinivere did was sit. And sit. And sit. It was driving her insane.

Suddenly, her younger brother Eric burst into the room, yelling something that Guinivere didn't catch. Her older brother followed behind.

"Guinny, Guinny, a letter came for you!" Eric yelled.

Aaron, Guinivere's older brother, smiled tolerantly. She looked at him curiously. "And where is this letter?" she asked.

"Where do you think?" Aaron queried. "Eric left it downstairs. I brought it." He held an envelope out, still sealed. "It doesn't look too important. It wasn't overnight express."

"We'll see." Guinivere ripped open the envelope and started to read the letter. As she read, a slow grin spread over her face. "This is certainly… unique," she remarked, putting the letter down.

"What's it say, what's it say!" Eric demanded, pulling at her skirt. "I wanna knooooow!"

"Don't get all whiny on me," Guinivere scolded gently. Her grin widened. "It says that someone needs my help. I'm surprised they knew to send it here, and not to Damsels, Inc. It reminds me of…." Guinivere broke off, shuddering. "Anyway, I need to get going. If they need me, I'll go. I'm bored stiff, and need _something_ to keep me from going completely bonkers." She got up and ran down the hall, to tell her parents where she was going.

* * *

"So, how exactly did this happen?" Guinivere asked at the castle the letter had been sent from. "I mean, it's not every day you lose a prince."

"Well, you see, a witch took a liking to him," the king explained. "And he… scorned her."

"I see. So he insulted her, and told her to go stuff herself. What then?"

"She got a bit peeved, as you can tell," the king explained. "So she… cast a spell on him."

"And turned him into a cat," Guinivere said. "Yes, I know that much. What about after that?"

"Well, as a cat, he had all the instincts of one," was the sheepish reply. "And he smelled a female cat. In heat. And… well, you can follow from there, I assume."

Guinivere covered a smile with her hand. She stifled a giggle. "So you want me to find him?" she asked, holding her voice steady with an effort.

"Yes, of course," the king said. "Will you?"

"Well… since I have nothing better to do," Guinivere said, "sure, why not?"

"Thank you!"

"Thank me when I've found him," Guinivere said softly over her shoulder, walking out the door.

Outside the castle gates, Guinivere placed her hands on her hips and looked around her. "Where to look first? Well, where would I be if I was a cat? The roof. I'll look on rooftops first, I guess." She started off, her head tilted upwards, staring at all the roofs. She kept bumping into people, and mumbled an apology each time. After a while, she stopped with that plan. "This is getting me nowhere. How else can I do this? What do cats like?"

Guinivere smacked herself on the forehead. "Of course," she mumbled. "Why didn't I think of it before? Food! I need bait." She ran back to the castle and raided the kitchen, grabbing everything she could find that might appeal to a cat. All the cooks glared at her as she grabbed stuff. Guinivere ignored them.

"Perfect," she breathed as she walked out the door. "I've got fish and meat. Now where to put it where dogs won't find it? On the roof, of course!" Guinivere ran to a tower and climbed it as fast as she could. When she reached the top, she spread the food she'd grabbed out around the roof and sat to wait. The wind carried the scent all around the city, and very soon tons of cats had come to find out what it was.

Grinning widely, Guinivere looked at her handiwork. "Good. Now I have to kiss them, don't I?" She sighed, her smile fading. "How troublesome. At least with Richard I only had to kiss one frog. Better get started." She crawled among the cats, who were too busy eating to pay much attention to her.

It took her a while, but Guinivere finally managed to kiss what she thought were all the cats that had come to eat. One of them changed into a woman, who shrieked and ran off as soon as her bare feet touched the ground. At that point, Guinivere stood up, blinked, and wondered why witches had such a predilection for turning people into things.

None of the cats were the prince she was looking for.

"Damn it," Guinivere muttered. "Now what do I do? May as well try calling for him, I guess. What was his name again? I'll ask." She went to the king's throne room. "Damn show-off king. What kind of ruler spends all his time in his throne room? Does he even know any of his citizens? Unlikely. Maybe his son will be a better ruler." Guinivere snorted at this thought.

"Excuse me, your majesty?" Guinivere asked when she reached the throne room. "What's your son's name?"

"His name is Edward," the king responded. "Why do you wish to know?"

"You'll see," she called over her shoulder as she waltzed out the room.

On the streets, Guinivere shouted the name Edward over and over again, every few steps. People gave her weird looks. She smiled and waved, still calling for Edward. Right before she was about to give up, a little cat came running up to her. "Well, aren't you cute?" she asked it, bending down to pick it up. "I don't suppose you're Edward, are you? Well, it can't hurt to try." She lifted him to her face and kissed the top of his head.

The cat was surrounded by smoke and, when it cleared, a young man, maybe in his early twenties, was standing where the cat had been. Well, where Guinivere had been.

"Why does this seem familiar?" Guinivere asked herself. "Oh, I know! Because, minus the being crushed, and being in the middle of a city, it's almost exactly like what happened when I first met Richard!" She shrugged and turned to leave. Edward grabbed her arm.

"You can't leave!" he exclaimed. "You have to marry me! That's how these things work!"

"Um, no it's not," Guinivere said. "This ain't no fairy tale. Get over it, and let go of my arm." She shook his gripping hand off of her. "Have a nice life."

Edward stood there, completely naked, staring after Guinivere as she walked away. His mouth hung open in a very unbecoming way. In a few seconds, he'd recovered, snapped his jaw shut, and started toward his palace, mumbling to himself.

Guinivere went back to her parents' castle, picked up her things, and went back to Damsels, Inc. "I'm back!" she announced when she walked in the door. "How have things been while I was gone?"

"Hectic," Enya said from the couch in the next room over. "We have a bear now."

"Really now?" Guinivere queried, raising one eyebrow. "How did that happen?"

"The people from Proper Endings sent it," Enya replied. "They thought we'd like it. He's sweet, I guess, but he makes a mess out of everything. And eats a lot, too. His name's Gray. Wanna meet him? We keep him out back now."

"Yeah, sure, why not?" Enya led Guinivere around the back. Right smack dab into Richard.

"Guinivere, my love!" he exclaimed. "You're back! I've been looking for you! Where have you been, my darling?"

Guinivere blinked. "None of your business. And go away, please."

"But you have to marry me!" Richard called, tagging along at her heels. "Angelina said to!"

"I don't take orders from Angelina," Guinivere replied curtly. "Now I want to go see the new bear. Leave me alone."

Sulking, Richard stopped running after her. Guinivere and Enya didn't even slow down. "So, anything else interesting happen while I was gone?" Guinivere asked.

"Nope. Nothing at all," Enya replied. "But I suggest getting Deidra to tell you about her last job. I thought it was pretty funny."

"I'll do that," Guinivere said. "Have you trained the bear at all?"

"Not really," Enya said. "Dawn started, but we only got him a couple days ago. Why do you want to know?"

"No reason. I just didn't know if bears were trainable or not."

Enya smiled. "Here we are. Gray!" she called. "Come on out! Come meet Guin!"

The bear lumbered out of his little wooden house that someone had made. He looked at Guinivere and walked forward slowly. "Hello there, big fella," Guinivere said. "How are you doing today?"

The bear growled a bit, looking behind Guinivere and Enya.

"Guinivere!" a male voice called. "Guinivere! You will marry me!"

Another voice, farther away than the first, piped up, "No, Guinivere, you'll marry _me_!"

Her face suddenly blank, Guinivere turned around to see what was going on. Edward and Richard were coming up to the two girls, fast. And they were arguing heatedly amongst themselves.

"Damn," Guinivere muttered.

"You can say that again," Enya said. "You've got _two_ men fighting over you now."

Guinivere whirled on her friend. "You think I want this?" she cried. "I just want to live my life, without having these nonsense things." She ran back to the building and up to her room. She threw herself onto her bed and covered her head with a pillow.

Enya walked in slowly, using all her practice to walk silently. "I have an idea to drive them away. Both of them. Though it's a bit embarrassing, and it might encourage them more than drive them away."

Guinivere sat up. "If it has the possibility to get them away, I don't care. Tell me what to do."

Enya whispered her plan into Guinivere's ear. A grin spread across Guinivere's face as she listened. "So it probably will backfire," she said, her voice shaking with suppressed laughter. "I want to try anyway. Let's go."

Giggling, the two girls rushed from the room.

Richard and Edward were sitting on a bench outside, still arguing. Enya and Guinivere stopped out of their line of sight. "Which do you want?" Guinivere breathed.

"I'll take Edward," Enya said. "I like him better already."

Guinivere snorted. "Both of them are annoying." Enya just shrugged. "Let's go." The two girls rushed forward, right at the two males.

"Edward!" Enya squealed, running towards him. "How are you doing?" She stood in front of him, rocking back and forth on her heels, hands clasped behind her back, smiling fawningly.

"Do… I know you?" Edward asked, looking confused.

"Oh, did I not introduce myself?" Enya asked, pressing her hand to her chest as if shocked. "I'm so sorry! My name is Enya. I'm a thief." She grinned at him. Edward blinked.

Guinivere, meanwhile, had settled herself on Richard's lap, twining her fingers in his hair, which was getting a bit long. She giggled in Richard's face, playing with the hair on his neck. "How are you doing, Richard?" she asked, giggling some more.

"Um, fine," he said hesitantly. "What are you doing?"

Guinivere smiled and trailed her fingers over his jaw, up to his ear, and down his cheek. "Nothing," she said, smiling coyly. "Is there something wrong?"

"I guess not," Richard said, starting to smile. "Does this mean you'll marry me?"

"Not at all," Guinivere said pleasantly. Her hand went down to his shirt, and started to play with the buttons, starting to unbutton them. Leaning closer to him, she breathe din his ear, "I want you, though." She laughed inwardly at the expression on his face. "Something wrong?"

"But… that's the type of thing married people do!" Richard exclaimed. "We… we can't do anything like that!"

"Who says?" Guinivere asked. "Where was it written?" By that point, she'd gotten half of his buttons undone.

Richard picked Guinivere up, stood up himself, and placed her back on the bench. "Sorry, I have to go now." He ran off in the direction of the gate. Edward followed, just as scared of the unknown Enya's advances as Richard had been of Guinivere's.

The two girls sat on the bench, cracking up. "Oh, that was priceless!" Guinivere exclaimed. She took a deep breath, calming down. "I'm just glad he left by then." She shuddered. "I wouldn't have wanted to get any farther than that."

"Yeah, no kidding," Enya said. "I wouldn't have wanted to _see_ any more than that." The two started laughing again. "How long do you think it'll take for them to come back?"

"Oh, a few days," Guinivere said breathlessly. "Maybe a week, if we're lucky. If we're _very_ lucky, Edward won't come back with Richard. But we both know Richard will come back eventually." She sighed. "He's worse than a dog. A dog I wouldn't mind. They're nice. But him." She shook her head.

"I can't disagree," Enya said. "How about when he comes back, we try pulling this again? And drag everyone else into it!" Enya's eyes lit up. "Imagine the look on his face if a _bunch_ of women bombarded him." She got up, chuckling. "Come on, let's go back and tell everyone how we got rid of Richard." The two girls walked back to Damsels, Inc.

* * *

NightIntent: Yeah, I'm weird. But it was a fun idea. Reverse psychology. It nevers works in real life, so why not make it work in a story? Next, everyone's doing check-ins with their old assignments, seeing how they turned out. Oh, the hecticness I'm planning. It'll probably be a two-parter, maybe three if it goes too long. I'll put it up as soon as I'm done with the first part.


	25. The Duel Gone Awry

NightIntent: Yeah, I know, I promised check-ups on the people from each person's job. But then my friend came up with this idea after reading the Cat Prince. So, once again, in comes Proper Endings. With a nice twist, might I add. I get to write a very fun chapter after this. You'll see why it'll be fun.

Disclaimer: I don't own Proper Endings or its owners. They're all owned by my friend.

* * *

Angelina stood, gazing at Edward intently. "You simply _cannot_ allow this! Do you not understand that unless you marry a proper princess you cannot be king? Now granted Guinivere is _not_ a _proper_ princess, but she'll do. You will have to come with me though this calls for drastic measures!" She stood and swept out of the room. "Come along, your majesty."

Jenna breezed into Guinivere's room and looked around.

Guinivere looked up form where she was reading on her bed. "Is there a reason you're barging into my room?" she demanded before processing who it was. When she did see, she exclaimed, "_You_! What are you doing here!"

Jenna smiled brightly. "I'm here to referee the duel!"

"Duel!" Guinivere asked. "What duel!"

Jenna smirked. "The one for your hand of course...where have _you_ been?" She sighed. "So romantic how Edward and Richard are willing to fight to the near death for your love!"

Guinivere blinked. "I'm sorry, when was I going to be informed of this? And why do they have to duel over me? Don't I have the right to choose who I should marry? And why can't they just kill each other, instead of near death?"

Jenna gasped. "Such brutality would be most unbecoming of two future kings!" She frowned. "You _had_ the right to choose, but I'm afraid Angelina has declared that since your behavior is less than princess standards, and that you're a harlot, it's up to the men to decide this."

"But it would be more fun if they killed each other! And I don't like either of them, so I choose someone else!"

Jenna smirked. "Really very exciting...come, come" She waltzed right out the door, ignoring Guinivere.

"Rude little..." Guinivere trailed off, going back to her book.

Angelina looked Richard and Edward up and down circling them slowly and waiting for Jenna to bring Guinivere down.

Jenna turned and snatched the book out of her hands. "Come along, I believe your future is far more important than this." She grabbed Guinivere's hand and dragged her downstairs.

"Hey, let me go!" Guinivere cried. Keira walked out of the living room at the base of the stairs.

"What's going on here?" she asked.

Jenna smiled. "A duel for love..." She stopped and smiled at Angelina. "This is wonderful!"

"What's she talking about?" Keira asked Guinivere.

"Not a clue. Why don't you try asking, maybe you'll have better luck."

Angelina glared at Guinivere. "You better hope these darlings..." She cooed and gently hugged Richard and Edward. "Don't get hurt just because of your tramp-ish ways!" She glared.

"It's not my fault they followed me," Guinivere said calmly. "And I'm not the one who told them to have a duel, now am I?"

Angelina huffed. "Its quite necessary at _this_ point...the first your flirted with and kissed leading him to your room and being rather _suggestive_...the second you called and called for before kissing him leading him home and attempting to have your friends crawl on him as if the poor thing had gone to a house of ill repute!"

"What are you talking about?" Guinivere asked. "I never led anyone up to my room! And the only reason I kissed either of them was because I had to, to free them from enchantment! You people are all insane. I'm going to my room."

Keira had snuck away a while before.

Angelina nodded. "Very well, we'll send your husband to your room when we determine who he is..." She gazed at the two princes and smiled. "Richard I shall turn you into a mighty ... toad... and Edward I shall turn you into a kitten-- that ought to keep things civil"

"I still say you're insane," Guinivere called over her shoulder. "And I'm not marrying either of them, so you may as well just ship them out of here, and keep them out of my hair! Find them a real princess, since you think I'm not one!"

Angelina flashed suddenly shifting she snarled her eyes going red. "You little..." Jenna frowned

"NO ANGELINA WE'RE SUPPOSED TO HEL-" But it was to late Angelina had cast the curse on Guinivere

"You shall remain a seal until you choose a husband! Maybe _that_ will teach you some decorum, and I will be informing your parents of this!" She huffed and ported out.

Jenna stood gazing at Guinivere the seal. "Oh my...err, it was an accident...?"

"What the--!" Beryl asked, coming out into the yard. "Why is there a seal out here? As if we didn't need more animals! We already got your bear, now you're giving us a seal? When will you people learn to give normal gifts?"

Jenna gave a startled giggle. "Oh my...err well yes Beryl... I... um... I shall send the seal away as you wish...I just... we err... You haven't seen Guinivere have you?" She decided to play this off no one need know she ported Princess Seal off into the enchanted forest... for safety.

"Why did you mention Guinivere?" Beryl asked.

Keira walked out. "Hey, where'd Guinivere go? And what happened to the duel?"

Jenna smiled. "Because of the Duel! Of course...but if she isn't here well there can be no duel without her ..." She brushed her dress down and smiled. "Well lots of work to be done...I shall send you a package again soon...err, no bears?" She giggled and gave a quick wave.

Keira stared at Jenna and leaned close to Beryl. "Is it just me," she murmured in the other woman's ear, "or is she acting weird?"

"She's acting weird. When don't they act weird?"

"Good point," Keira said. "I'm going in. Maybe we'll find Guinivere." The two walked back into the building.

Jenna ported out she felt bad but she knew Angelina the curse would hold she would just have to be certain all the princes available and maybe some peasants managed to reach Guinivere.

"I can't find Guinivere anywhere!" Enya exclaimed. "Where could she have gone!"

"I don't know," Keira said. "But she'll turn up eventually."

"We hope," Beryl muttered under her breath.

* * *

NightIntent: See, fun. I'll try to start that tomorrow, if I have time. Which I should. Please review.


	26. A Princess in Distress

NightIntent: Sorry for the (really) long delay! I just couldn't write. Then when I opened up Damsels, Inc. in the word processor, I found out that I was like five minutes of typing away from being done. Heh. Oops. So I fnished it, finally. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own fairy tales.

* * *

Guinivere sat in a strange forest, as a seal, and didn't know what to do. She was at a loss of words. Literally. Guinivere couldn't talk, only bark like the seal she was. She decided she should get out of the forest. Before dark. She'd heard no end of stories of what came out in forests at night, and didn't want to chance any of them. 

As a human, Guinivere was almost utterly fearless. But as a seal, she was afraid of almost everything that walked on land. Even a squirrel, darting from the bushes, caused poor Guinivere to jump. _Geez,_ she thought, _seals sure are twitchy. I wonder why. They always looked so calm when I saw them in the sea._ Sighing a seal-y sigh, she waddled through the forest, trying to ignore the fact that she couldn't hear too well. And the light was starting to fade, too.

_This isn't good,_ Guinivere told herself. _I need to find somewhere to settle down for the night. Now._ She walked through the forest. Soon, she saw a man cutting wood. She went up to him and tried to say, "Hey! Help me!" Instead, it came out as a series of barks. _Agh! What is this! Why can't I talk!_ She followed the man as he walked home.

"What are you doing, little seal?" the man asked. "I've never seen you here before. Why aren't you by the sea? That's where most seals are. Is there a reason you're following me? Well, since you've come this far, I may as well take you home. My son will love you."

Guinivere barked again and continued to waddle after him. It wasn't long before they reached the man's home. He opened the door and called, "David! Come here, will you? I have a surprise for you!"

A young man of maybe eighteen walked from the back of the house. "What do you need, Father?" he asked.

"I found a seal in the woods," the man answered. "It followed me home, and I thought you might like to see it."

"A seal?" David repeated. "Why was there a seal in the forest?"

"Well, it _is_ the enchanted forest. It can get odd things in it," the man said.

"True," David said. He kneeled down next to Guinivere. "Hello there, little seal," he said, petting her. "I've never seen a seal before." He smiled. "I think I'll call you Flora, after my dead aunt. So, Flora, do you want to eat something?"

Guinivere shook her head and barked at him. She didn't want food. She wanted to be human again. A woman's voice came from the back of the house.

"David, Aiden," the woman called, "come eat dinner."

"Coming, Meriel," Aiden called. "David, leave that seal for a bit and come eat. She'll be here when we get back."

Guinivere tried to call after them, or follow them, but the door closed behind the two. _Damn. Now what do I do? I can't talk, so how can I get someone to marry me? And who do I _want_ to marry? I just want to stay at Damsels, Inc. with my friends. That was why I told my parents not to try to find a husband for me._ Guinivere growled deep in her throat. She lay down on the ground to wait.

Some time later, David came out of the house again and tapped Guinivere. It was fully dark by then, and Guinivere had been dozing. She woke with a start. "Come on, Flora, Mother said you could sleep in my room," he told her. "I don't think you could protect yourself against the monsters in this forest."

Looking up at him sleepily, it took Guinivere a minute to process his words. Then she heaved herself up and clumsily went into the house. She followed David into his room. When he started to change, she looked away. Guinivere settled down sleepily on the floor. A few seconds later, David started talking to her. She didn't really listen, because she was nearly asleep herself. But she understood that he was lonely. There weren't many other people around them, since they were nearly in the middle of the forest.

David soon stopped talking and went to sleep. Guinivere had fallen asleep long before that.

A few days passed without much happening. Guinivere stayed in David's room most of the day, except when she wanted to go out to the river to swim. Though her body hated the fresh water, she had to put up with it. After a couple days, she was able to catch the fish in the river. She never ate well, but she ate.

Guinivere never gave up on trying to talk. One day, she actually could. David had asked her, "So, how was your day?"

Guinivere, expecting to have it come out as a bark, replied, "Boring. How would _you_ like to be a seal?" She blinked as she realized that she'd spoken. "Hey! I can talk now! Finally!"

David was staring at her. "You… you can talk? But… you're a seal," he said. "Seals can't talk."

"I was turned into a seal by what's-her-name from Proper Endings," Guinivere explained. "I work for Damsels, Inc., my name's Guinivere, and I'm a princess. Won't you help me somehow?"

"Um," David said. "How?"

"Well, usually these spells are broken with a kiss," Guinivere said, her voice thoughtful. "But the woman who cast the spell on me is a bit… odd. She's probably trying to get me to marry someone. Which I don't want to do."

"Well, I don't know how to help you," David said. "I don't want to marry a seal."

"…Didn't I tell you that I'm not a seal?"

"You look like one to me."

"Shut up. How about this," Guinivere continued, "we just _say_ we'll get married, and then we never have to see each other again. Does that work for you?"

"That's fine," David said. "Flora, will you marry me?"

"My name's Guinivere. And, yeah, sure, whatever," Guinivere replied. Smoke surrounded her and she turned into a human again. "Well, that was nice of her, at least. She didn't leave me without my clothes." Guinivere stood up, wrinkled her nose at the fishy smell that she was covered with, and bowed to David. "Thank you for helping me," she said. "I'm indebted to you. If you ever need anything, I'll be at Damsels, Inc. Good bye!" Ignoring his open mouth and shocked look, Guinivere walked away.

A couple weeks later, Guinivere was finally able to find her way back to Damsels, Inc. "Hello!" she called. "Where is everyone?"

Enya came sprinting down the stairs. "Guin!" she shrieked. "You're back!" She hugged Guinivere. "I missed you! Where were you!"

Guinivere laughed and hugged Enya back. "I missed you, too. You have no idea what I had to go to through to get back."

The others all gathered around the girls, welcoming Guinivere back. "Just in time," Beryl said. "We were all bored stiff. You can tell us your story over dinner." She grinned as everyone waked into the dining room to eat and hear what Guinivere had to say.

In the dining room, Richard and Edward had somehow managed to get back inside the house.

"Gah!" Guinivere yelled. "Get them away from here!"

"But Guinivere!" Richard exclaimed. "I missed you!"

"It's your fault I was turned into a seal!" Guinivere yelled in his face. "Get out of my sight! You, too!" she bawled at Edward.

The two men stumbled from the room, away from Guinivere. "She's scary," the women heard Edward remark.

"But pretty," Richard returned.

The women all laughed.

* * *

NigthIntent: Hope you liked it! I don't know when I'll next be able to update, but I'll try toupdate soon. Next will be the first chapter of Checking In. And I entirely forgot the direction I was going to go in for that, so it might take me a while. Please review anyway. n.n 


	27. Checking In

NightIntent: I _swear_I didn't forget about this! No, really, I didn't. ...Okay, fine. I admit it, I did. I've had other things to worry about recently, don't shoot me! Also... I went back and read some of my earlier chapters. I didn't remember how bad they were. I couldn't get through an entire chapter without face-palming. Anyway. Checking In. It was supposed to have more chapters... but I'm lazy, and don't like the idea as much now as i did when I first got it. I have no iea what I'm going to do for the next chapter, or if I'm even going to make one. Either way, hope you like this chapter!

Dsiclaimer: I don't own the fariy tales that I may mention. And I got th eidea for a vicious Red Riding Hood and grandmother from Into the Woods. I do, however, own Damsels, Inc. and all original characters.

* * *

Beryl shuffled papers around on her desk. Everyone was gathered in her office, staring at her. "So, is anyone else getting bored?" 

Everyone murmured in agreement. It had been weeks since their last assignment. Beryl nodded in satisfaction. "Anyone want to go check on their former assignments?" she asked. "Guinivere, you don't have to, seeing as we know how your cases turned out." Her eyes went o the window, where Richard and Edward's voices were audible through the glass. "Keira, you can go first. You've had the most. Come back between check-ins and tell us what's been going on with each person."

Keira nodded and walked form the room. Beryl said, "Each of you will go, in order of who has had the most assignments. So, in order, we'll have Deidra, Sabrina, Caitlin, Tara, Dawn, and Enya. Anyone who doesn't want to go can say now."

Enya said, "I'd rather not. I didn't like the people I went to help. They were annoying."

"And I didn't like those damn dwarves," Dawn piped up. "Or the prince and little miss Snow White."

Beryl nodded. "I understand," she said. "So neither of you will go. Anyone else have objections?"

No one said anything.

"Very good," Beryl said. "Deidra, you'll leave as soon as Keira gets back. Wait 'til last to visit your first assignment. You can take Sabrina with you. And you don't need to go to your more recent one, I doubt there's much in the way of change."

Deidra nodded.

"So, shall we find out how people live after Damsels, Inc.?" Beryl asked lightly. "When Keira gets back, I expect everyone to assemble here." Everyone filed out of the room as Beryl reclined back in her chair.

* * *

"Uh-oh," Keira remarked as she approached the castle. "That can't be good." There was a sound like a bunch of little girls screaming coming from the castle. "Wonderful," Keira muttered. She continued toward the castle. 

When Keira got there, there were no guards at the gate, as there had been last time. She simply walked through. "There's gotta be something wrong here." There weren't any guards at the castle doors, either. The screaming had gotten louder, and not just from getting closer to the source. Others had added their voices. "Great. Just great."

Inside the throne room, which had been so neat before, if somber, the only quiet person was the eldest sister of the twelve princesses. Everyone else was running around, yelling unintelligible words at the top of their lungs.

Keira walked up to the eldest sister. "How do you stand it?" she asked.

The woman smiled. "It took some getting used to," she admitted. "I hardly hear it anymore." A loud, piercing shriek sounded from the group, and the princess flinched. "Those are the times I hear it very clearly."

"I can tell," Keira said dryly. She cupped her hands over her mouth and yelled, "Silence!" The word echoed around the room, surprisingly audible, even over the others' yelling. Everyone went quiet. Keira grinned. "Better. Now. Why all the yelling?"

"She started it!" one of the younger princesses shrilled, pointing.

"I did not!" the accused girl yelled back. "She did!"

Before another shouting match could start, Keira said, "I didn't ask who started it. I asked _why_."

The eldest princess sighed. "My advisors want me to marry, my sisters want me to remain single, and I don't care either way. So they started arguing."

Keira blinked. "Well, if that's not the stupidest thing I've ever heard, I don't know what is."

"Tell me about it," the king muttered.

"Now, you all," Keira began, turning to the rest of the people. "Be good and listen to the _king_. That's why he's here. Let your sister get married or not as she chooses. All right? All right. Any other issues?"

One of the youngest princesses glared at Keira. "You're the one who got us into this mess," she accused. "If you hadn't broken the spell, we wouldn't be arguing over this."

"Oh, yes you would," Keira said. "Or was it my imagination that the king offered one of his daughters as the prize to break the spell? You're lucky I came along, or one of you would be marrying a complete stranger. Is that all you have to complain about?"

"What else is there?" someone asked.

Keira sighed. "Only everything." She looked around the room and only saw blank stares. "All right then. Who wants to come back with me to Damsels, Inc., to _live_ a little? Hm? Any takers?"

After a few seconds, one of the middle princesses raised her hand. She was maybe sixteen or so, and beautiful. Keira smiled warmly at her. "Why do you want to come with me?"

"Because," the princess said shyly, "I want to do something different. And maybe help people."

"All right. Anyone else?" No one volunteered. "Then do we have other problems?" Silence. "Good. Then we'll be on or way. You… what's your name?"

"Amara," the girl supplied.

"Amara. Right. Go pack, please. Lightly. I'd like to leave soon," Keira said.

The girl obediently rushed off. "Oh, we're going to have to break her of that," Keira murmured. "She'll get run over by Guinivere."

"But you didn't help us!" someone called.

"Why do I have to sort out _all_ your troubles for you?" Keira demanded. "I broke the spell. My involvement should have ended there. But I come back to you bickering." She sighed again. "Fine, fine. I can try to help. Only until Amara's done packing."

Less than an hour later, Amara came rushing back into the throne room, where Keira was finishing her mediating. "I'm ready," she said breathlessly.

"Good. And not a moment too soon. I was going to hurt someone, and I would have regretted that. let's go." The two walked out of the castle. "Now, you'll need to know everyone's names. The head is Beryl. She's not too bad, once you get to know her. Guinivere is the blond hyper one. She can get bossy, if you do what she wants. _Don't_ do what she wants. She's a princess, too, she likes giving orders. Sabrina can change into animals. She gets crabby once in a while, for unknown reasons, so don't get in her way around those times. Deidra is her best friend, and she's a witch. Enya is an ex-thief, and Guinivere's friend. Don't let her boss you around, either. You getting all this?"

Amara nodded.

"All right. Dawn is a hunter. She doesn't talk all that much, but nothing can help you if she ever gets angry with you. Caitlin is a witch, too, but older than Deidra. She doesn't like being called that, though, so call her sorceress instead. She finds it more respectful. Tara.'s a witch, too. Then there are the hang-abouts. Richard is the original, and Edward's new. Both were rescued by Guinivere and now want to marry her. It's quite funny, really, but exasperating, too. You should be careful about saving princes. They seem to like doing things like that."

"I've noticed," Amara said dryly. "Anyone else important that I should know about?"

"None that I can think of. Anything you want to know?"

"I don't think so."

"Good."

Amara nodded again. From that point on, they said very little until they reached Damsels, Inc.

* * *

After dropping Amara off at headquarters, Keira went back to the cottage where she'd left the woman and the little girl who had been eaten by a wolf. The cottage was…different. The grandmother had apparently gotten extremely paranoid after her short stay in the wolf's stomach. She'd turned her home into a fortress. 

Where once there had been flowers, lovingly tended, there were now huge, thick walls. Maybe there were flowers behind those, but Keira couldn't see any. There were periodic openings in the wall that Keira eventually recognized as arrow slits. A heavy gate blocked the path up to the little building. Instead of a cute little thatch roof, the grandmother had bought some sort of tiling that looked like it would deflect anything short of something catapulted at it. The door looked like reinforced steel. Keira shook her head. The things people did.

She rang the bell in front of the walls, hoping someone was home. A minute later, the old woman cracked open the door and called, "Who's there?"

"Keira. I'm the one who saved you from that wolf sometime ago," Keira yelled back.

"Oh, of, course, come in," the older woman called. She pressed a button and the gate swung open. As soon as Keira was through, she pressed the button again and the gate shut with a loud _clang_. "Nice to see you again, dear." The old woman's voice was pleasant as she tucked away the knife she had brandished at the first sign of someone outside.

Keira watched her put the knife away with something like disbelief. The woman was obviously insane.

Suddenly, the little girl came running from another the back. "Grandmother, you let a stranger in?" she demanded. "Why?" She pulled her own little knife out of her cloak. "I'll kill you if you try to hurt us," she warned Keira.

Keira was speechless. The old woman being crazy like that, she could almost understand. But a little girl? She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it. Finally, she said, "You're both insane, you know that?"

The old woman cackled. "Being in the belly of a wolf will do that to you," she said. The little girl laughed along with her.

"This is just scary," Keira muttered. She left the two to their insanity and laughter, walking quickly back outside. She located the button for the gate and half-ran back out. "If that's what I'm going to have to deal with every time I go back to check on someone," she said to the air around her, "I think I'm done."

She went back to report to Beryl and the rest.

* * *

When everyone heard about how Keira's cases had turned out, they all decided that they didn't really need to go back to see how their own were getting along. They could manage by themselves. The group didn't need to deal with any more aggravation than they already had. Guinivere glanced out the window, where she could see Richard and Edward arguing over something, waving their arms and glancing at windows once in a while. Yeah. They definitely had enough aggravation.

* * *

NightIntent: So? Did I entirely lose my touch? I think so, too. Please review anyway! 


	28. The Fisherman and his Wife

NightIntent: So, I decided to write one more chapter. I _should_ be studying, but this wouldn't leave me alone. I'd like ideas for more chapters, if anyone has a fairy tale they'd like me to do, 'cause I'm mostly out right now. This is more of just a spoof, but it's at least _based_ on a fairy tale.

Disclaimer: I don't own the fairy tale. I _do_ own Damsels, Inc. and all my original characters.

* * *

Now, it happened one day that Deidra and Sabrina were bored. Everyone else was off doing something. Guinivere and Enya were messing around with Richard and Edward, trying to get one or both to leave. Keira and Beryl were plotting _something_, and neither would say what. Deidra didn't like to deal with Caitlin, Sabrina didn't like Dawn (something to do with Dawn trying to chase her down one day when she was in deer form), and all the rest were off doing something in the nearby town. 

"Hey," Deidra said. "Want to go to the beach?"

Sabrina shrugged. "Sure, why not?" Deidra teleported the two of them to a random beach, and they stared out at the ocean. It was calm and clear, and breathtakingly beautiful. They looked around them and saw a fisherman sitting on a rock, tending his line.

Deidra grinned. "Something to kill time?" she asked.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Sabrina replied, an answering smile pulling at her lips.

"Fish joke?"

"Fish joke."

The two started laughing. Sabrina walked to the water and turned into a large fish, swimming off in the direction of the fisherman. Deidra turned invisible and crept over to stand near the rock he was on.

Shortly after, the fisherman felt a tug on his line. Excitedly, he reeled in the fish that was tugging. Sabrina emerged from the water, thrashing and fighting. When she reached the surface, she pleaded, "Please, please don't eat me! I'm not a fish, but an enchanted princess. Surely the meat of an enchantment wouldn't taste good!"

The fisherman nearly dropped his fishing rod, he was so shocked. "Well! I certainly can't eat a talking fish, whether you're a princess or not!" Reluctantly, he let Sabrina go.

She bobbed back up to the surface. "Thank you, kind fisherman! I won't forget this. If there is anything I can do for you, just call me and I will do it for you! Anything at all!" With that, she dove again and swam off. Deidra was having trouble muffling her laughter at Sabrina's dramatic streak.

The fisherman left some hours later, after having caught a couple smaller fish. Deidra and Sabrina stayed at the beach, wondering what would happen next. Later, the fisherman came back. Sounding awkward, he called, "Um, fish? Er—enchanted princess? Can you come here for a second? I have something I want to ask."

Sabrina changed back into a fish and swam up to the rock the fisherman was standing on. "Anything I may do for you, kind sir, be assured that it will be done," she said.

The man smiled, tugging at his collar nervously. "Well, you see, my wife says that I should ask you for something." He hurried to say, "I wasn't going to, I swear, because that would be taking advantage of your generosity, but my wife told me to, and she won't leave me in peace until I ask."

"Very well. What does she request?" Sabrina asked somewhat impatiently.

"She wants a cottage," the fisherman blurted.

"Fine. You have a cottage." She looked the where Deidra was hiding. Obligingly, Deidra cast a spell as the fisherman walked away. He hadn't even said thank you.

Sabrina came out of the water. "That was rude."

Grinning, Deidra nodded. "But fun." They settled down to sleep for the night, to see what would happen with their new project.

* * *

The next day, the fisherman came back. His shoulders were slumped in defeat, and he looked mournful. Sabrina turned back into a fish and went into the water. "Um princess?" the fisherman called. "I'd like to ask you something again." 

Sabrina surfaced in nearly the same place she'd been the night before. "Yes?" she asked, exasperation touching her voice.

"Well, you seem my wife is not happy with the cottage," he explained humbly. "She, um, wants a castle. A stone castle."

Sabrina sighed. "She has a stone castle. Anything else?"

"Nothing. Thank you, my lady," he said. He turned and hurried away while Deidra muttered the new spell.

"At least he remembered his manners this time," Sabrina remarked.

"That's something," Deidra agreed. They settled down to wait again.

A couple hours later, the fisherman came hurrying back, looking reluctant. "Um princess?"

Before he could say anything else, Sabrina surfaced, her fishy eyes impatient. "Yes?"

"My wife, er, wants to be king now," he said, flinching.

"She is king." Without letting him respond, Sabrina went back under the water. The fisherman left a a half-run.

Deidra was practically rolling on the sand with her laughter. "You frighten him so much!" she exclaimed.

Sabrina smiled. "I'm not trying to."

Deidra just shrugged. Time passed. It got dark, then light again. Shortly after dawn, the fisherman came stumbling back. He looked tired. "Prince--"

"What?" Sabrina cut him off with her sharp question.

"My wife is still not content," the man stammered. "She now wishes to be emperor, on top of king."

"She is emperor. Leave." Again, Sabrina submerged before he could reply.

Deidra was grinning again. "You just keep scaring him more."

"Next time, stir up the sea with a small storm, will you?" Sabrina requested, her eyes sparkling. "Then he'll think everything's against him."

"I can try, but weather isn't my strong suit," Deidra said.

And so the two of them waited some more. "For a way to kill time, this sure is boring," Sabrina remarked idly, staring at the sky.

"Yeah. But it'll be worth it."

"How do you know?"

"Why else did we come here?" Deidra asked.

Sabrina shrugged.

Finally, the fisherman came hurrying back, looking deathly pale and nervous. Deidra attempted to conjure up a small storm, but it grew bigger as she watched. Soon, it was out of her control and the ocean was black and turbulent. The fisherman grew even more nervous.

"So. You're back again," Sabrina sighed, not giving the man a chance to say anything. "What does your wife want this time?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but she says that she wants to have the powers of a god."

Sabrina drew back. "She is back in the hovel, and she will be happy there or die trying," she snapped. "Go, and never return." The man ran away as fast as he could, the winds from the storm buffeting him.

"I told you I was no good with weather," Deidra said as Sabrina came out of the water.

"Are you happy now?" Sabrina asked, tossing her head in the direction the fisherman had hurried off in.

The witch shrugged. "It was something to do. And it's not like we harmed them any, right?"

"Sure, fine, can we just go home? This is ridiculous."

Deidra had managed to put a limit on the storm, so it would stop soon. She shrugged and teleported the two of them home.

"Where have you two been?!" Beryl demanded. "You almost missed the surprise!"

"What surprise?" Deidra asked innocently.

Beryl glared at her. "You'll find out when we get around to it."

"Fine, fine, be like that," Deidra said. "I need a bath." She and Sabrina went up to their rooms. Both of them were glad to be back.

* * *

NightIntent: Remember, I want ideas for more chapters! Feel free to e-mail them to me or something. The next chapter is done, and will be posted when I feel like it. (Hint: Reviews make me happy!)


	29. A Christmas Surprise

NightIntent: Merry belated Christmas! The story's kinda cutesy, which I'm _really_ not good at. And I'm also not good at thinking up stalker-like gifts, sadly, hard as I tried for both Edward and Richard. Either way, I think it turned out semi-decent. Hope you like it!

* * *

"Merry Christmas, Guinivere!" Richard called, barreling down the hall in front of Edward.

"Open my gift first!" Edward yelled. He tried to push past Richard, but the other prince was just too tenacious and managed to keep his lead.

"No, mine!" Richard shoved his elbow into Edward, and the second prince slammed into the wall, still moving forward, then smacked right into the doorjamb. Richard barely spared him a glance before shoving his gift into Guinivere's face. "Open it, open it!"

Guinivere raised an eyebrow. "I think I'll open Edward's first, just because you did that to him," she said primly, picking up Edward's gift from where he'd dropped it on the floor. She ripped the wrapping off quickly and neatly, revealing…. "A handkerchief? It has the letters G and E intertwined. What is this?"

Edward grinned proudly. "That's an example of the napkins that will be used in our wedding. Aren't they lovely? The flourishes on the E are particularly nice, and that perfect white particularly appealed to me." He said all this somewhat mechanically, as if the lines had been fed to him.

"Is that so?" Guinivere looked skeptical. "Right then. Too bad there isn't gonna _be_ a wedding. Let's see if Richard somehow managed to out-creep you." She opened Richard's gift for her quickly. It was one of the figurines of a couple that people put on top of wedding cakes. "Okay, I give up. Why does the girl have a lock of hair wrapped around her neck?"

"Well, see, I went to this hedge witch," Richard said, looking around the room nervously. "And she said that if I could get a lock of your hair around it and your breath to touch it, you'd fall in love with me. So if you'd just breathe on it right now, the charm would take effect!" He glanced at her hopefully.

"Um. No." She dropped the figurine onto the floor quickly. "And please never do anything like that again. That's stalker-creepy, whereas Edward was only brainwashed-creepy. And how did you get a lock of my hair, anyway? Now why don't you two run off home to spend some time with your families? I'm sure they miss you. If you leave now, you might make it before New Year's." She flounced off down the hall, set on ignoring the two of them for the rest of the day.

There was a knock at the door. When Guinivere went to answer it, a little girl was standing there.

"How can I help you?" Guinivere asked.

"I'm looking for Deidra. She needs to help me!"

"Hang on a second, I'll get her." Guinivere turned around and shouted, "Deidra! Someone at the door for you!" She looked back at the girl. "She'll be here in a second. Would you tell me your name?"

"I'm--"

"Olivia!" Deidra exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Deidra! I need your help!" Olivia whined piteously, her manner changing instantaneously.

"With what?"

"I can't find my present for Mother!" Olivia sobbed theatrically. "Come help, please!"

"Well, where did you put it?" Deidra asked, taking the little girl's hand and leading her down the road. When she was most of the way to the gate, she turned and looked back. Everyone was watching her, puzzlement clear in their stances. She shrugged helplessly as the girl towed her away.

"I don't know!" Olivia said. "It was there, then… it wasn't! It has to be magic or something! I don't just misplace things." She kept talking, agitated to the point of inanity.

Deidra tuned her out, thinking of how she could help the girl find her lost present. Most of her spells weren't good for tracking and finding things. Actually, none of them were. Why did Olivia have to choose _her_? Because the girl knew Deidra, of course. Deidra sighed softly. Her tendency to befriend children in the nearby village was coming back to bite her. She wondered idly what she could do to get out of this dilemma.

"There's my house!" Olivia exclaimed. "We'll start there!" She pulled Deidra forward relentlessly.

The entire time that Deidra was walking to Olivia's house, Damsels, Inc. had been in an uproar. "Quickly, quickly! Everyone gather together!" Keira called. "Everyone have their gifts and everything? Enya, don't forget your coat! It's winter, it's gonna get cold." Checking to make sure everyone was there and had complied with her instructions, Keira nodded to Caitlin. The older woman invoked her spell, and all the women vanished.

Deidra and Olivia were right outside the girl's house when Deidra felt the tell-tale pressure of an incoming transportation spell. A large one. She frowned. "Why is someone teleporting into your house?"

"Tele-what?" Olivia asked distractedly, focused on her goal. She was half-running, trying to drag Deidra faster than the woman was willing to walk.

"Never mind," Deidra murmured. "It was probably my imagination." She picked up her pace a touch, to placate Olivia and relieve the pull on her arm.

A short time later, Olivia was pushing open the door to her house. "I've got her!" she called. "Where are you?"

The entire house was pretty dark—not an easy feat, since the sun was high in the sky. Deidra looked around somewhat nervously. She heard a rustling coming from another room, and quickly looked back to Olivia. "Um. Where are we going, exactly?"

"There!" Olivia said happily, pointing to the room where the rustling had come from. She pushed Deidra through the door, shouting, "We're here!"

Suddenly, the room brightened. "Merry Christmas, Deidra!" The room was full of people, all of them shouting.

Deidra stood looking stunned for a few seconds. "M-Mother?" she stammered. "And Father, Grandmother, Aunt Michelle, Aunt Rachel, Uncle Aiden, what are you all doing here?"

Deidra's mother came forward, smiling warmly. "We knew you wanted to spend Christmas with your new friends, sweetheart, so we didn't press you to come home. Instead, we came to you. Surprised?"

"Well, yes!" Deidra said. "I wasn't expecting you guys to come to me!" Now that she was over her initial shock, she was amazingly happy. She'd been feeling bad that she wouldn't be spending Christmas with her family, but everyone else had been staying at Damsels, Inc., and Deidra just didn't have the heart to leave Sabrina alone over the holidays. Now she could spend time with both.

Sabrina came up to Deidra, smiling shyly. "Do you like it?"

"Of course! This is wonderful! Did you plan this?" Deidra asked.

"I just suggested it," Sabrina said. "Everyone else planned what was going to happen."

"Well, thank you for it," Deidra said, hugging Sabrina. She let go of her quickly, since he shape-shifter didn't like being touched for too long. "This is the best Christmas ever!"

A smile on her face, Sabrina watched as Deidra went to catch up with her family.

"Sabrina!" Beryl called from across the room, waving. "Ger over here and open your presents!"

Sabrina glanced around the room as she walked toward Beryl. Somehow, Richard and Edward had managed to sneak into the range of the teleportation spell Catherine had used to get the Damsels, Inc. group to the house, and they were chasing Guinivere around the room. Enya was watching and laughing at her friend's distress. Catherine was talking to Deidra's grandmother. Tara was deep in a technical conversation about a complex spell with one of Deidra's aunts. Keira and Beryl were sorting out gifts for everyone. Dawn was having a spirited discussion with Olivia's father; Sabrina caught something about tracking and trapping before tuning it out quickly.

Yes, this _was_ the best Christmas. Laughing at her friends' antics and thoroughly enjoying herself, Sabrina picked up her first gift.

* * *

NightIntent: Please review! 


	30. The Six Swans

About time, right?

Disclaimer: I don't own the fairy tale.

One morning, the Damsels, Inc. crew was lounging around, comparing stories. Enya was in the middle of a particularly funny story about this nobleman she'd stolen from shortly before coming to Damsels, Inc. when Richard snuck in through the front door, carrying a large, flat, rectangular package. Enya stopped her narration and stared down the hallway at him.

Guinivere was the first to notice where Enya was looking. She stopped laughing and craned her head around to look where her friend was. "Richard!" she caroled, her voice carrying easily down the hall. "What are you doing and what are you carrying?"

Richard started and looked at her guiltily. "Umm. It arrived a few minutes ago. I offered to carry it the rest of the way," he explained hesitantly.

"What is it?" Beryl demanded, walking down the hall toward him.

"It's a magic mirror," Richard proclaimed. "See?" He tugged the cardboard—which Beryl could see had already been opened—off of the package, revealing an ornate mirror.

"Pfft. No such thing as magic mirrors," Guinivere said.

"Is so! And it _is_ a magic mirror!" Richard shot back. "See? It's got a picture in it and everything!"

Guinivere stared at him for a few seconds. "That's called a reflection," she said slowly. "It's what mirrors _do_."

"Nuh-uh! The picture doesn't look like anything in here!" Richard protested. "Look at it!" He held the mirror up, showing them the picture.

Wonder of wonders, he was right. The picture in the mirror _didn't_ look like the hallway they were standing in. Nor was the girl in it similar to any of the Damsels, Inc. women.

Guinivere leaned closer to see the image. "Is it not a mirror or something?" she wondered aloud. "That's really weird."

Suddenly, the image started to move. The girl's face became animated, and she started gesturing. Her mouth didn't move once.

"What's she doing?" Enya had come up behind Guinivere and Beryl.

"I can't tell," Deidra said. "Looks kinda like she's trying to tell us something."

The girl in the mirror made a flapping gesture with her fingers, then pointed above her, then at herself. "Umm. She wants to fly?" Guinivere guessed.

The girl in the mirror looked exasperated. She grabbed a piece of paper and charcoal, scribbling something quickly. "Why couldn't she just do that in the first place?" Keira muttered.

The girl in the mirror held up the paper. It read, "I'm a princess, and my brothers were turned into swans by an evil witch. I don't know how to help them, but someone told me that giving up what I most love (after my brothers) would help them. So I gave up talking until they're better. Help please?"

"Wouldn't it have been easier to just send _that_, instead of a mirror?" Guinivere whispered to Enya.

"She doesn't seem too bright," Enya whispered back, laughter shading her voice.

The girl, who had clearly heard them, glared in their direction. She scribbled something else on her sheet of paper and held that up to the mirror.

"Oooh, testy, are we?" Guinivere taunted in response to what the girl had written. "Wanna do something about it?"

"Enough," Beryl snapped. "All right, who wants to go help?"

All the women exchanged glances. None of them really felt like dealing with a moody princess. Finally, Caitlin sighed. "I'll do it."

Beryl nodded. "Good. Leave as soon as you can." While Caitlin left to go pack, Beryl turned back to the mirror. "Write down everything you can remember that might help Caitlin help you, and have it ready before she gets there. Otherwise she'll take longer than she otherwise would. Understand?"

The girl nodded stiffly, still shooting dirty looks at Guinivere and Enya. Guinivere smiled sweetly at her before the mirror blanked out.

"Well, that was pretty cute," Guinivere remarked. "I'm gonna go see if I can make it work for other mirrors." She grabbed the big mirror, toting it out to the living room. Enya followed her.

"I'll never understand either of them," Tara muttered. The other women smiled.

* * *

Caitlin checked the slip of paper she'd taken from the mirror's packaging. It had the return address for the mirror attached to it, and it matched the address on the little cottage in front of her. "I didn't know that cottages in the middle of nowhere had addresses," the older woman grumbled. She went down the little path to the door and knocked firmly on it.

The girl from the mirror answered the door after a few seconds. Her face lit up.

"All right, I'm here," Caitlin said grumpily. "What've you got for me?"

The girl pulled out a somewhat thick sheaf of papers and handed them to the woman.

"Oh, no, no, no," Caitlin mumbled. "I don't need an essay. I just wanted a summary. Got that?"

Sighing, the girl grabbed two sheets of paper that had been next to the thick sheaf.

"Much better," Caitlin said approvingly. She read it quickly, nodding. When she'd finished, she looked up at the silent girl. She was watching the old woman expectantly. "All right. Here's what you have to do: You need to replace the shirts that your stepmother sewed with shirts of your own. Now, this is going to be hard. It'll take you a long time. Are you sure you want to do this?"

The girl opened her mouth to respond, then shut it quickly and nodded, her expression determined.

There was no real reason that Caitlin could think of for the girl to remain silent while she tried to cure her brothers. But from the way she acted, and what she'd written while communicating through the mirror, Caitlin had a feeling that she didn't _want_ the girl to talk. So she just didn't mention it. "All right. Then here's what you're gonna have to do: You have to collect nettles, with your bare hands and prepare the plants to be made into shirts for your brothers."

The girl pulled a face.

Caitlin shrugged. "I told you it wouldn't be easy. You have to do that, then give them the shirts when you're done," she said. "You can't stop in the middle, or your brothers will be stuck like that forever." All of it was complete crap, of course. But as a witch, Caitlin had a reputation to uphold. She couldn't make breaking any spell seem too easy.

An expression of determination crossed the girl's face and she nodded resolutely.

"Good." Caitlin stood up, dusting off her skirt. "You get started on that, and call if you need anything. We still have your silly mirror, so just use that." When she was sure the girl understood, Caitlin left. She didn't go in the direction of Damsels, Inc., though. She went in the opposite direction, toward a kingdom that she knew had an eligible bachelor as a king.

Shortly before she entered the city, Caitlin made herself look older and more bent over. "Why is it that the only prophetesses that are taken seriously are bent over old crones?" she muttered. "Why can't they just be old? It'd be so much easier on me." She walked through the city streets, calling out random fortunes and other mumblings. In front of the palace, she collapsed in a violent-looking seizure and yelled for the king to come out at once.

He came, rushing as was proper for someone about to receive a fortune from a trusted prophetess. Caitlin stood up shakily and pointed at him. "You! If you go hunting in the forest—no, not the forest you're thinking of, the other forest—oh, just give me a map and I'll show it to you. Anyway. If you go hunting in the forest, you'll meet a beautiful maiden who you must bring back here to stay with you. If you do, something good will happen to you. Got that? Excellent. I'll be on my way, then."

Still calling out to the people on the street, Caitlin hobbled back out of the city. Once well enough away from it, she undid the spell and stretched. "Much better," she sighed. "All right. Now to set everything up." Caitlin set off for the long walk back to the girl's cottage. She had a lot to explain and not enough time to do it in.

When Caitlin reached the cottage she had everything she was going to say straightened out in her head. "All right," she said as soon as she stepped through the door. "Here's what's happening." And she told the girl her plan. When Caitlin finished, the silent girl looked kind of nervous. "You'll get used to it," Caitlin said reassuringly. "Come on, we have to get ready." The two bustled about, preparing for the king and his hunting party to arrive.

A few days later, the awaited moment arrived. Caitlin hid herself and the cottage with a simple illusion. The king's hunting party rode right by, with no one even glancing at the place where Caitlin lounged. She smiled slightly before standing up to follow them. She had to make sure that everything went as planned.

It did. The king found the girl, who didn't say anything, sitting under a tree and took her off to his castle, abandoning his hunting expedition immediately. Caitlin followed at a discreet distance. She reached the castle before the king and his entourage, and set herself up by a window to watch the proceedings.

She couldn't hear what was said, but apparently the king had decided to marry his foundling. The king's aunt didn't seem to take to the girl at all. She glared at the silent girl all throughout the night, unaware that she was being observed.

"That one's going to be trouble," Caitlin remarked softly. The festivities lasted well into the night, and Caitlin watched them to the end. The aunt whispered with some of her minions at various times, shooting venomous looks at the mute girl, who was sitting there, weaving her shirts. "Yes, she will be a lot of trouble." When the impromptu party was over, Caitlin went back to the town to find a place to sleep for the rest of the night.

A few days later, when Caitlin had relaxed her guard a bit, the baby of one of the live-in servants at the castle was discovered to be missing. The next morning, Caitlin's ward was found sleeping with blood rimming her mouth and staining her nightgown. She was blamed for the disappearance of the child, and called a cannibal. She spoke not a word in her defense, but merely kept weaving. Her husband made excuses for her, and he was left alone.

However, the same thing happened a week later. And again, ten days after the second time. The fourth time, when all of the girl's shirts were nearly complete, she was locked in the dungeon. She was not allowed to take her nettle-shirts with her, the king's aunt having cited them as an article of her witchery. Defeated, she wept silently.

But Caitlin still had some tricks up her sleeve. She snatched the shirts from their hiding place, before anyone could find and burn them. While her charge was sitting and moping in her prison, Caitlin plotted.

Two days after she was locked up, the silent girl was taken from the dungeon and escorted to a stake. "The only way to take care of a witch," the gathered audience murmured over and over. Caitlin shook her head. How she hated ignorance and superstition.

As the girl was led to the stage, Caitlin tossed the shirts at her. The girl almost didn't catch them, but managed to at the last second. A huge smile split her face, and she searched the sky. One shirt wasn't ready, but surely that wouldn't matter. Everything would turn out fine anyway. Right? She was sure it would.

As she scanned the sky, the girl saw six shapes winging towards her. Those shapes were her brothers, she was certain. It wouldn't be a fairy tale if everything didn't turn out all right. She struggled valiantly to stall for time.

There was nothing else Caitlin could do, until those shirts touched the six swans flying closer and closer. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the six brothers were close enough. Their sister threw the shirts into the air, and the swans caught them and landed gracefully on the platform where their sister was supposed to be executed. The audience had frozen, confused. Caitlin muttered a few verses, and there was a flash of bright light. When the light cleared… the swans were still there.

Cursing, Caitlin realized she'd used the wrong incantation. She chanted the right one, smoke surrounded the swans, and when it cleared six men were standing there.

Something was wrong, though. One of the men had a swan foot! That wasn't supposed to happen! It must have been because the shirt he'd gotten hadn't been finished.

"Finally," the girl said, brushing herself off. "I can talk again." She turned to her shell-shocked husband. "These are my brothers. They were ensorcelled by an evil witch. The same witch," she said, "who framed me for the kidnapping, murder, and consumption of babies." She turned to the king's aunt. "You, madam, are a mean woman." The aunt cowered, not denying anything.

Somewhat satisfied with her work, Caitlin made her wandering way back to Damsels, Inc. On the way, she wondered what she could have done differently to make the sixth brother not be a cripple for life.

Please review!


End file.
